Written by: Naomi Epps-
Why is it that when it comes to life and love in general, we tend to believe our worst reviews? We need to admit it out loud; most of us single ladies live with the fear of being alone for the rest of our lives, especially if the relationships we once had went down the drain and never came back, without any plausible explanation. These unresolved romantic issues can lead to a lot of frustrations and mixed feelings, so by the time we do manage to come across a brand new guy we like, we act like 4th graders. Our cheeks are in flames, we tremble like grass in the wind, and get nervous every time we see him.
Well, just like the rest of us you have to learn how to cope with all the anxiousness and start living your life. You might be shy, you might be nervous, you might be too afraid to get burnt again, but you can’t just give up. Here are some tips that will make you more comfortable and let the guy you’re interested in know how you really feel.
Method 1: Hang out as friends. If you’re not ready to jump in just yet, it’s better to start small. Ask him out for a coffee or go see a movie you’ve both been wanting to see for a long time. If he is one of the guys you normally hang out with, this shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You can even invite the whole crew to the movies, just make sure you pose as an organizer and have him invite a couple of people too. Make sure you sit next to him at the movies, and let him share your popcorn. Act natural, but peek at him whenever he’s not looking to try to figure out his reactions during the scenes of the movie and try to insert some clever or funny lines between the scenes. A guy always appreciates a girl who shares his thoughts or even tastes in movies.
Of course you can just hang out as friends together with the rest of your usual acquaintances. Go out for drinks and make sure he’s coming; engage in small talk with your friends, but make sure you dedicate most of your time to him. Let him see you want to have a conversation with him more than anyone else, but don’t act desperate. Keep your cool, try to be as smart and funny as you can and let things go smoothly. A relaxed atmosphere and a few laughs can help both of you lighten up and things will definitely go smoother from then on.
Method 2: Be bold. This doesn’t mean you have to jump his bones or try to kiss him when he’s not looking (although some guys might find this extremely intriguing). But do we really need drama to make relationships work or begin, for that matter? Do we really need to do something extraordinary just to make a guy understand we like him? Well, sometimes we do. So here’s a wild thought: why don’t you have some flowers sent to him, or maybe a nice bottle of wine along with his favorite food? Buy him a card and make sure you write your cellphone number in it. He’s going to have to eventually man up and give you a “thank you” call. Men also like to be taken by surprise, so sending him a gift could really let the guy you want understand just how interested you are.
Method 3: Touch him accidentally. Men and humans in general perceive the most innocent touch as a sign of something. Whether it’s affection or love, curiosity or an involuntary gesture, whenever you touch a guy’s arm or leg when you’re telling him something funny or interesting or when you’re trying to make a point, he’s definitely going to catch your signals. You wouldn’t touch him unless you’d wanted to create some sort of strong bond with him; so make sure you adjust his collar or kiss him on the cheek whenever you meet. Make a habit of this, or give him a warm (and long) hug, rubbing your hand against his back. These gestures express some degree of affection, and the more you make them, the faster he will learn you’re actually interested.
Method 4: Learn about his hobbies and join him. If you discover you share some common interests, good for you. You won’t find it too hard to ask him to join you at an art gallery or karaoke bar; if you learn he’s really into bowling or fishing, maybe try to do a little online reading and learn a couple of things about these sports and mention the things you’ve learned the next time you talk to him. Have him know you are interested in the same stuff he likes, and you could maybe join forces one day and go bowling together. A guy is definitely going to appreciate that you share interests and common hobbies.
Method 5: Who’s that lady in red? A little mystery can never do any harm; so if you don’t actually know the guy you like and you’ve just seen him around your favorite club or bar a couple of times, it’s time to put on your best dress and wear the most elegant makeup ever (just don’t overdo it), feel strong and confident and send him a drink. Sit in the opposite corner of the room and watch his reaction. Have the waiter tell him the drink’s from a secret admirer. He’s going to start to scan the room, trying to figure out who is this mystery lady. Once he sees you, wink at him and then look away. He will likely be so intrigued he’ll want to come and thank you in person.
Method 6: Have your picture taken together. Whenever you’re out with your friends, make sure you bringing your camera or use your smartphone to take a bunch of pictures. Everybody knows how much you love to take pictures, so nothing should look suspicious. Then make sure you have a picture taken with just the two of you, sitting real close to one another. Tell everyone you’re going to post all the pictures in your Facebook album and ask for his URL or give yours to him, so he can check out the pics as well. Once you’ve hooked up on the Internet, you’ll have plenty of extra opportunities to talk to him.
Make sure you at least try a couple of these methods; they will definitely work like magnets. Just stay relaxed and natural while you put them into practice, and don’t let your excitement, anxiousness, or shyness show.