Written By: Naomi Epps
How do you feel about Denzel Washington or Will Smith? Ahh, the thrills you feel when you see them and the secret crush you have had on them since you can remember…You have to admit it, girl. You’re a bit jealous of Pauletta and Jada! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I know you love to see them together; it’s just that you’re almost always left with a bit of a sour taste in your mouth at the end of each magazine-reading session, right? It’s only normal to be longing for someone as funny, smart, sexy and charming as these two talented men. And you just hate it when all the great men seem to already be married, or…… Gay!!!!!
Now hidden wives or fiancées are quite easy to spot or hear about but the same cannot be said about a closet homosexual. Down low brothas do not have a label on their forehead saying “I’m gay!”. Most times, they choose to live their lives, hiding behind fake relationships with women that have completely no idea they are gay. They also forget they are hurting the women they date, as they tend to forget there is no store where a woman can go and buy back the lost time she spent with him. Some of them are willing to come clean at some point in their lives; but by then, it will likely be too late for remorse and regrets. (Just imagine getting married to a undercover gay man who chooses to come clean after your second child is born!)
So before you jump into the wagon with your eyes closed, here are a few signs to be on the look for:
Sign 1: His Facebook page is filled with strangers. That is, male strangers. No straight guy will ever add a male stranger to his list. Ladies, sure, why not? But guys? Come on, what for? If you notice a lot of male friends you never heard of on his Facebook list, it’s a big chance your boyfriend might be gay.
Sign 2: “Oh my Gosh, honey, I just bought the most awesome shirt ever! And it was on sale too!” Sure, pink is the new black, or it used to be, and he’s still not over it. He’s such a modern guy you tend to ignore his fashion magazines sitting on the coffee table. But when you notice he dresses kinda funny, or not manly enough, you could be in for a big surprise.
Sign 3: He acts weird or funny. “Funny” in a not so positive way. Most gay men can be spotted miles away if you have the nose for them. The way they act, move their hands, pass their hands through their hair or even bat their eyelashes are probably not the most manly gestures you’ve ever seen. Any guy who’s hiding in the closet will act more girlie, tend to be scared when he hears a loud noise or see’s a mice, or he’ll use your transparent lip-gloss whenever you go to the bathroom together. He might even complain about the disgusting urinal he was forced to use – he’s never going back there, that’s for sure!
Sign 4: The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you say my name, your smile…Do you remember Jesse Powell? Does your boyfriend remember him too? If he’s really into feminine or sensitive songs, to say the least, or, better yet, if he cries his eyeballs out whenever you listen to Marsha Ambrosius, you either have one hell of a sensitive guy, or your boyfriend is gay.
Men rarely exteriorize their feelings, and crying is something probably only 2 or 3 percent of them choose to do when in public, especially in front of their better half. So for your guy to not have any problem with crying all the time when listening to love songs or watching “The Color Purple”…let’s just say your “gaydar” should definitely be beeping.
Sign 5: He spends an awful lot of time hanging out with his male friends. Straight men do that all the time, that’s true. But do straight men hug their male friends, maybe kiss them on the cheek or tend to blush around them? If you catch your man throwing a glance at your girlfriend’s cleavage once in a while, don’t get mad. On the contrary, it shows he’s not gay. Or he might just be interested in the color of her bra – he loves purple too! lol
Sign 6: He talks trash about homosexuals. You’re not off the hook if you hear him mention gay men and the fact that he doesn’t like to see them in the streets. Most closet homosexuals show a great tendency to do just that, in order to protect their true identity and banish all the suspicions that might be floating around about them.
Sign 7: His hygiene is over the top. If the man sleeping with his arms around you at night also loves to have his nails done at the beauty salon you go to, and this is not a one-time thing, it’s time to pull out your investigator kit and go on the hunt for additional signs – this guy might be hiding his true identity. Sure he might be a Metrosexual who loves to shine all the time with his attitude, clothes, haircut, nails, clean face…you get the picture. He might be a normal guy who is really into creams and lotions, perfumes and hair gel, waxing and plucking his eye-brows. Hm…now something does seem wrong with this picture, don’t ya think? I mean, come on, it’s always nice to date a guy who loves to look good, but come on now! Plucking? Leg waxing, really? What’s up with that? No straight guy is probably ever going to agree with all these rituals, so if your boyfriend has the tendency to spend loads of time in front of the mirror before going to take the trash out or, better yet, if he uses your lip-gloss before you go out for drinks with your male friends, it’s time you blow the whistle and stop the party for a second.
Sign 8: He Dances Kinda Fancy. If you notice your boyfriends dance moves are kind of flamboyant and feminine you should probably get a little suspicious, I mean what straight guy do you know that puts a hump in his back and shakes his rump???
Of course, just like pretty much anything else in life, you need to see it for yourself before you can believe it, right? Well, let me tell you: when you start to actually notice all of these signs, it’s time to run for the hills, girl! I’m 99.9% sure your boyfriend is gay!