Written By: Darren Rose
A leap of faith, I believe this is the ultimate secret of all successful online relationship. Call it dating, call it chatting, call it socializing, call it whatever you like. Just understand its limits, and don’t pull out the white flag just yet; there’s plenty of fish in the sea and fishing can be really fun.
Why do you always pick the wrong men? For starters, maybe you’re not looking for them where you should be. If you don’t want to go out on men hunts weekend after weekend, you can spend your time sitting behind your computer monitor, picking up guys on match-making dating sites and praying things will turn out OK. But just to make sure they do, here’s a quick reminder of some of the best online dating techniques that can lead you to that special man in your life.
Key 1: Figure out what it is you’re looking for. Your success in online dating is very much related to your actual expectations. Do you want to date tall dark men with brown eyes? Do you have a thing for guys who wear their beer bellies with pride? Do you want to date a spontaneous musician or a down-to-Earth executive who’s traveling all the time? Do you actually really want to just date and have some fun, or do you need a long-term relationship and probably a life-long commitment that features some church bells in the background? Once you manage to answer all of these essential questions you can honestly say you’re prepared to face the tricky world of online dating. You need to find someone you can really cling to, whom you are compatible with and whose presence you just know you’d adore. So don’t go out on a blind search, not really caring about what happens. Set your goals from the start, the same way you would make a business plan or arrange a long trip.
Key 2: Don’t fear deception. It’s only normal to be experiencing some goose bumps whenever you click a guy’s profile and discover you’ve got so many things in common. But don’t become overwhelmingly depressed and scared to talk to any other guy ever again online just because things didn’t work out between the two of you. Deception is an ugly part of the online dating world, and you need to realize this soon if you want to continue seeking a relationship online.
Key 3: Don’t buy the whole “all guys on internet dating sites are crazy” idea. It’s true you might come across some peculiar specimens, to say the least. They might be two-faced, they might have a wife at home, they might love to shoplift even though they have loads of cash, they might have some really strange fetishes you know you won’t be into…there’s tons of stuff you cannot truly know about a guy unless you go out on a few dates with him. The Internet can hide some really ugly traits, both physical and psychological; appearances can definitely be deceiving here. But you don’t have to fall into the trap of believing your shots of finding a decent guy are non-existent. There are plenty of great guys out there; you just have to know how to look for them.
Key 4: Put yourself into the spotlight. You need to create a great profile, take plenty of recent pictures, update your profile with your honest interests and hobbies and don’t say stuff like “I love to go to the museum” if your main attraction is clubbing and you never actually set foot in an art gallery. All you need to do is highlight your best traits, take a deep look inside yourself and try to paint the person you see within. If you like to deer hunt or play hockey, don’t hesitate to say it. A lot of men will be attracted by your unusual hobbies, and, of course, some of them will probably decide to go around your profile because they’re on the look for women who are into the things they like. Whichever the case, you’re still the winner, because you’ll only get in touch with the guys that like the real you, and not some phony. Speaking of which…
Key 5: Don’t lie. Another essential aspect of successful online dating comes from the part where you are prepared and open to only speak the truth about yourself. If you’re 5 feet 1 inch, don’t write you’re 5 feet and 6 inches. High heels don’t count, ladies! And of course a new guy is definitely going to be dumping you before your date can even start if he sees just how big of a liar or deceiver you really are. If you couldn’t be honest about your own height or weight (this is another common mistake a lot of women make), how can a guy expect you to be true about anything else?
Key 6: Do those questionnaires. Even though you think hand-picking is more fun and safe, you can rest assured those boring questionnaires most online dating sites display the minute you create an account are really effective. They can match you up pretty fast with the guys you are very likely to appreciate later on. The secret behind these questionnaires is the fact that they enable you to pair up with men who share your same interests, beliefs, hobbies and so forth.
Key 7: Make your pick. To boost your chances of finding Mr. Right on one of these sites, you also need to do a little profile search and check out the wide range of selection criteria you can make full use of. Be as frank as you can when selecting those criteria and make sure you sign in for email notifications. This way, you won’t have to wander around the site every day; receiving two or three emails at the end of the day with some pretty decent profiles should get you started.
Key 8: Meet in a public place. Always have your first few encounters in a public place. This should go without saying but I want to make this list as definitive as possible. Always prioritize your safety first ladies, I hate to say it but there are some crazies out there online and offline.
Virtual dating is starting to pick up a lot of steam and it has become a viable source to find that special someone, but the thing is you have to have a real life offline. You can’t dig yourself a virtual hole and live in it for the rest of your life. You need to go out more and try to meet a new crowd the old fashioned way too. Sure it’s much more practical and it can truly save you from a lot of headaches, but virtual dating can be a pain sometimes, as it can also prove to be a blessing. The important thing is to have a life outside of virtual dating – you never know when Mr. Right will decide to pay you a visit or whether that visit will be online or off.