Written By: Naomi Epps
“I wanna love you and treat you right/ I wanna love you every day and every night/ We’ll be together with a roof right over our heads/ We’ll share the shelter of my single bed”…God bless Bob Marley for these lyrics. Love is really difficult to materialize, and its presence can so easily be misinterpreted or mistaken for other similar feelings… So how can you really tell if he loves you in the uttermost deep and sincere meaning of the word? And how can you tell if he’s just messing around, playing childish games and fooling you for one reason or another?
Well, they say women have a radar their born with, and this radar can prove to be one of their most trusted tools that can spot liars and frauds from miles away. So basically all you need to do is turn your radar on and let the games begin. But can you really rely on your hunches or do you need something more reassuring than some gut feelings? The truth is not all women have this radar, so some of us do need some extra help. Check out this article to see if you’ve got “Barack and Michelle” written all over you or if you’re more likely heading for an ugly storm.
Sign 1: He hugs you while he’s sleeping. One of the cutest and most solid proofs of affection your partner could probably show you is something as simple as putting his arms around you while he’s sleeping. “Forcing” you to come closer to him every night, literally pulling you near him in bed and maybe saying your name while he does it is definitely a great sign that he loves you dearly. He couldn’t possibly fake that – I mean the guy is half asleep. He might not even remember what he did in the morning, and this is another fascinating detail that should really make you trust him. These affection signs he’s showing you when he’s not even conscious should mean the world to you. So even though he might not be the “I love you”-every-5-minutes-or-so type of guy, you can’t possibly beat that now, can you?
Sign 2: Hug-hug/Kiss-kiss. How can you really show a person your love if you don’t hug and kiss them when you feel like it? If your man is not afraid to show you some sugar whenever you’re hanging out with your friends or you’re going out for drinks, just the two of you, you can say you’re one step closer to discovering he really loves you. He must be able to hold your hand when in public, he must be able to kiss and hug you whether you are alone in your bedroom or in the streets. Again, he might be shy and kissing while people are staring might not be exactly his thing. But no one says you have to French-kiss him, just see if he is able to kiss you softly on the lips or give you a kiss on the cheek every once in a while. If he does that and you see pleasure and love in his eyes while he’s doing it, you, my girl have likely found love.
Sign 3: Let’s go out! If he loves to hang out with you and he never shows signs of boredom or hostility whenever you ask him to go someplace, you are again, one lucky girl. If he is the one who is grabbing the bull by its horns, inviting you to go to dinner, to go catch a movie, hang out in the park or go dancing, you can rest assured he’s really into you.
Sign 4: He’s faithful. And you have no reason to believe he wouldn’t be, you don’t see any abrupt changes in his attitude towards you, none of your friends have spoken one bad word about him, so it’s all good. And it’s probably going to remain the same – if not better – because he is very likely in love with you and his feelings might be growing in volume day by day. So don’t play the jealous type unless you have good reasons to do so. Also please don’t contemplate giving him a second chance if you know he cheated on you, now I don’t believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” But a man that cheats hasn’t reached the mental maturity it takes to be in a committed relationship yet, if commitment is what you really want then it’s time to move on at least until he grows up.
Sign 5: “Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend I told you about.” When a man is ready to introduce you to his parents, he probably really cares about you. Don’t be too surprised if one day he pops the question during a family dinner or get together – bringing you so close to his parents and siblings means he is really being serious about your relationship, and therefore whether he loves you or not shouldn’t even be up for discussion. If, on the other hand, he refuses to take you near his family, this guy is probably not as into you as he says he is.
Sign 6: He makes sacrifices for you. This is another huge indicator of the fact that he loves you. No man is really willing to sacrifice his freedom, time, money or anything else for that matter just to help someone he does not truly love. So if your man jumps on his feet whenever you ask him to run an errand for you, help you cook dinner or advise you in a critical situation, you’ve got yourself a man that’s genuinely in love with you.
Of course the list isn’t a definitive list and there are many more signs. If you want more advice on love and dating check out our book The Black Women’s Guide To Relationship Success