What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You're the One

What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You’re The One

Posted by in Black Love Advice

If you’re in a relationship long enough to know your boyfriend is “the one” then it’s clear to everyone that you’re head over heels for the guy.

But is the feeling mutual?

Does he view your relationship in the same light?

Oftentimes women get this part all wrong.

They are head over heels for a guy, and he’s just not as into the relationship as they are…

Or even worse… He is deeply infatuated by the woman he’s dating, but she fails to capitalize on these feelings at the right moment, or even worse. She makes one to many common relationship mistakes, and he begins to lose interest.

You see when it comes to being “the one” men and women share vastly different criteria.

Today I’m going to help you get into the minds of men. I’m going to break down what men really want from a relationship and what you can do to provide it.

Here are 7 things that will make him realize you’re “the one.”

If you successfully implement a few of these in your relationship I can nearly guarantee he’s not going anywhere.

What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You're the One

“I’m free!!!!!”

1. Giving him space.

This might not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of ways to show a man that you’re the right woman for him.

However, I can guarantee this is something he craves in a relationship and something that has lacked in at least a few of his past relationships.

Causing unnecessary arguments that that made him say, “Yea, she’s not the one.”

Whether he loves to play basketball with his boys on the weekend or hit the Hookah bar from time to time, you have to give him space to roam.

There are just certain things that a man wants to do alone or with his friends. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or value the relationship. It just means he wants to retain a slice of his independence even though he’s in a relationship.

We already showed you how spending time apart can improve your relationship.

If you’re not sure if you and your man are spending too much time together I suggest you take a look at this:

As much as you love and care about him and want to spend as much time with him as possible, it will eventually lead to the demise of the relationship if you both don’t nurture your independence and hobbies outside of the relationship.

Your boyfriend will greatly appreciate your considerate nature.

He will unconsciously realize that you want what’s best for him, that you respect the man he is, and that you are not going to try to change him.

Let him watch the game and hang out with his boys without it leading to an argument.

As long as it’s not excessive to the point that he’s spending more time with them than you, it should be a non-issue in your relationship.

2. Being unexpectedly generous.

Everyone loves to receive a gift from the people we care about, especially when we don’t expect them.

Show him just how special you think he is busy buying him a shirt or his favorite cologne as a surprise gift.

Just make sure the gift comes out of nowhere. Everyone is expected to give gifts on birthdays, holidays, and special occasions.

The more out of the blue your gift is, the more he will realize how special the woman he’s dating is.

3. Not being overly needy.

Okay, let me explain this one because it contradicts a lot of the information you might have seen online or from other relationship experts.

Here’s a great example:

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t entirely disagree with Steve Harvey’s analysis in this video. Sure, us men want to feel wanted and needed. We need to know that we bring value to a woman’s life or we’ll lose interest in the relationship.

However, we don’t want a woman that’s so needy that it feels as if she can’t function without us.

It might be cute, and maybe even a bit sexy at first, but eventually a man will become annoyed and feel burdened by all the whining and clinginess.

So don’t take the advice of “showing a man you need him” to the extreme.

Show him that if need be, you can take care of yourself and that you’re not going to whine and complain at every minor setback.

What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You're the One

“I love everything about you honey…even your beer belly.”

4. Embracing his shortcomings.

Despite what some might think, the primary thing most people want from a relationship is acceptance.

We want to feel like our naked and flawed selves are good enough for the person we are in a relationship with.

That’s a place of true love.

That’s how unbreakable bonds are built.

Show your man you accept his flaws and don’t want to transform him into a new person.

Now I’m not saying put up with his crap or mistreatment.

But a relationship should be a safe place. Emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.

I remember a commercial I seen on television when I was on vacation in Hawaii.

On the commercial, there was a woman and a man. When they met, he used to ride a motorcycle, and he had long hair and wore a leather jacket.

He used to drink beer and hang out in bars and live life on the edge. She met him, and they fell in love.

That’s where things changed…

Once their relationship evolved, she changed him completely.

She made him cut his hair, wear different clothes, buy a minivan and drink wine instead of beer.

So one day, she comes to him, looks him in his the eyes and says: “You’re not the man I fell in love with!” and dumps him.

What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You're the One

No other explanations are needed here lol.

You fell in love with him for a reason. Don’t try to change your man to the point that you no longer recognize him. Acceptance, this is not only what men really want from committed relationships, but what all people want from committed relationships.

In fact, most men will run from a woman that’s trying to change them.

On the contrary, YOU shouldn’t have to change him… HE should be changing himself to be a better man for you all on his own… If he’s not doing that, you’re not the one.

5. Not being afraid to admit when you’re wrong and saying I’m sorry.

If you make a mistake don’t be afraid to admit it and say “I’m sorry.”

It’s crazy, but I notice a lot of people have a hard time with this. Especially with admitting when they are wrong.

However, one of the biggest mistakes you can make in a relationship is not admitting when you are wrong.

We’re all human, and nobody’s right all the time, by admitting and apologizing for your mistakes your boyfriend will trust and respect you more.

Which will strengthen his emotional connection to you. 

6. Not chasing him… Making him chase you…

I explained exactly how and why you should do this in a previous article titled “Make Him Chase You Instead… Here’s How…

No woman should be chasing a man. And no man respects a woman that chases him.

Make him come to you.

Don’t nag him about commitment, or his feelings, or any of that type of stuff.

If he won’t commit to you and that’s what you want then let him know you will move on. Let him know you have other options.

Men are natural hunters. So he will enjoy a bit of a chase and respect you for standing firm in your values and independence.

Once he sees that you are a rare jewel that a man will have to work to obtain and keep he will know you’re the one.

7. Blowing his mind in the bedroom. 

What Men Really Want: 7 Things That Will Make Him Realize You're the One

Okay, when it comes to what men really want in a relationship many people think this is the number 1 thing.

It isn’t, especially as a man matures over the course of his life.

So I nearly left sex off of this list.

However, it would be a mistake to neglect that a satisfying sex life is high on most men’s list of requirements for a long-term romantic relationship.

With that being said, here are a few resources that will help make you the best lover he’s ever had:


Men… We are really not that difficult to understand.

However, misinformation and misinterpretation often leaves women scratching their heads and wondering what men really want from them.

I hope this list helped clear some of the confusion and gave you a clearer insight into the minds of us men.

For more tips, tricks, and techniques be sure to explore the rest of our site!

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