Long Distance Relationship Advice: How Can You Make It Work When He's Not Around?

Long Distance Relationship Advice: How to Make It Work When He’s Not Around

Posted by in Black Love Advice

“What’s the point in doing this when we both know it’s never going to work?”

That’s what crosses many couples minds when they realize they’re entering a long distance relationship (no matter how confident they say they are that they can make it work.)

Being in a long distance relationship is undoubtedly tough. There will be lonely nights, arguments without makeup sex, and times where you might question if your spouse is being faithful.

Fortunately, long distance relationships can work. In fact, 10% of all marriages start off as long distance relationships and 75% of engaged couples report to have been in a long distance relationship at some point in the relationship.

So clearly it can work.

However, you must know the best strategies to navigate these delicate waters or your relationship is bound to fall apart.

That’s why you came here for long distance relationship advice.

You want to be equipped to successfully manage this relationship. Which says a lot about how much you love your partner and value your union.

And guess what? You came to the right place.

I’m a part of those statistics above. My fiance and I successfully navigated a long distance relationship for almost 2 years while he was in the military.

Here’s how we did it and how you can do it to.

Let’s start with this extremely important key to making a long distance relationship work.

1. Set the rules.

This is the first and one of the most important bits of long distance relationship advice on this list.

If you want to make this work you have to leave no room for unnecessary miscommunication and misunderstandings. So it’s important for you both to think of the guidelines you’re willing to follow and the lines that can’t be crossed.

Of course cheating is out of the question.

But what about things like:

  • How often will you visit each other?
  • How will travel expenses be divided?
  • Will you try to spend holidays together?

And a lot more.

Make sure you stress the importance of having daily communication via phone, social media, or video chat.

Once you are satisfied with the way this agreement turns out, print it and stick it on a wall.

Seriously. Make sure it’s written down and kept for safe keeping by you and your partner.

The first goal you need to abide by is honoring this “romantic agreement.”

If you can do that you’re off to a very good start.

Long Distance Relationship Advice- How Can You Make It Work When He's Not Around?

2. It’s time to chat!

Communication is one of the primary keys to success in any relationship.

However, communication is even more important for couples in long distance relationships.

Being that distance keeps them physically seperated the fiber of the relationship is held together by communication.

If your boyfriend is “a man of few words” he’s definitely going to have to change that.

If the you are still in the same city at the moment start working on your communication skills now.

Instead of texting talk on the phone more. Begin video chatting. It’s time to start adjusting to your new reality.

Conversations are pretty much all you have for now, and if you don’t manage to say more than 2 words to one another on the phone, chances are you won’t be able to make your long distance relationship work.

3. Don’t make assumptions. They will ruin your relationship.

Make sure you get rid of all assumptions and passive aggressive behavior before your long distance relationship begins.

It’s of the utmost importance that you verbally express your feelings, frustrations, desires and needs clearly to each other.

It’s hard enough as it is to maintain a relationship when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles apart, don’t add to the complexity by not expressing your feelings when inevitable arguments or disagreements do happen.

Learn to lay your cards on the table and never leave anything to the imagination.

If something needs to be discussed, do it. Avoidance will only allow for problems to grow out of control.

4. Reassure each other that you still very much love one another.

Even though it might not seem necessary because things are going smoothly between the two of you, it’s always a great idea to highlight the fact that you still love your partner.

Write it in an email, text it, tweet it, just make sure it’s know ahead of time before you do have a difficult moment in the relationship.

5. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

And he should do the same for you.

Let’s be real for a second. Maintaining trust is often difficult for couples that live in the same city and see each other everyday.

So just imagine how hard it can be to maintain trust when you live hundreds of miles apart.

However, of all the long distance relationship advice and tips on this page this is the most important.

Without trust it will never work. In fact, a lack of trust is usually what causes breakups in long distance relationships.

You both are going to have friends and social lives and you have to be okay with that.

Your lover is going to have fun and meet new people but you have to trust them enough to know they won’t cheat on you.

If you can’t do that, your relationship is in real danger of coming to an abrupt end.

6. Wanna catch a movie?

It’s extremely important to be able to share some special moments while you’re not together.

Does that make any sense?

Well, it will soon, because it’s becoming a part of your routine.

Find a TV show you both like and watch it together.

It’s simple.

Just stay logged into your Skype account or FaceTime and you can talk and enjoy the show together.

You can do the same with Netflix and an Xbox.

You can stream movies from Netflix and invite your boyfriend to watch them together with you in an Xbox live group.

It’s really cool and has some nice interactive features.

Long Distance Relationship Advice- How Can You Make It Work When He's Not Around?

7. Guess who’s back?

Speaking of surprises, you should seriously consider all sorts of spontaneous surprises.

Next time you visit him maybe try buying some romantic or funny gifts then secretly hide them somewhere in his apartment so that he won’t find them until after you’re gone.

The goal is to keep the flame burning by being thoughtful, playful, and a tad bit unpredictable.

8. Don’t skip your carefully planned dates.

Even though something unexpected occurs and you need to cancel a date on a weekend make sure you do everything in your power to prevent this from happening.

When in a long distance relationships date nights can be few and far in between if at all.

If you’re lucky enough to be in a position where you can have regular dates and visits with your long distance love make sure you don’t cancel or postpone.

Missing a scheduled date you and your boo had carefully planned will definitely send all the wrong signals.

You need to continuously show your partner just how important his presence is to you and he also needs to do the same.

If you’re fortunate enough to see each other in person periodically cherish it. Most long distance couples don’t get the opportunity.


The one thing I want you to take from this list of long distance relationship advice is that you have to have a sustained amount of effort throughout the time you are living apart.

A long distance relationship can work and I’m living proof of it.

I want you to immediately start putting these strategies into action.

I wish you all the best of luck in your relationship.

Have faith, don’t become discouraged. True love knows no barriers!

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