Hi my name is Shanell. I’m 24 years old and I have a question for the blackloveadvice.com staff. I’m about 5 feet 7 inches tall, caramel complexion, long hair, pretty face, independent and educated with my own house and car. I meet a lot of different guys and most think I’m attractive until….. I turn around and they see I have no backside!!!!! It seems that this always puts me in the “friend zone”. I have dealt with this problem since I was about 16 years old, the guys at school thought that I was cute but I was known as “The black girl with no booty” This has been difficult for me to deal with and it really has affected my self esteem, I’m thinking of possibly getting surgery to enhance my backside. What should I do? Am I over concerned with this?
Hi Shanell this is Quentin and let me start out by saying you are not alone. You would be shocked how many times this question and concern has been sent into this site.
And I’m going to tell you the same exact thing I tell everyone that emails us with this concern: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A BIG BUTT TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO MOST MEN.
Men are attracted to different women for different reasons, and if some guy won’t date you over something like that then oh well that’s his loss, your life will be better without him. You sound like a beautiful woman that is goal orientated and focused on being successful in life and that alone is enough for you to find a good man that appreciates you, just have confidence in yourself.
Now on to the topic of plastic surgery. If you feel like this will boost your confidence then who is anyone to tell you that it is wrong? It’s your body and you are free to do with it as you please. Go for it if you feel it will improve your self image, but in all honesty, it’s highly unlikely that you will need plastic surgery to find a good man. Trust me, not having a big butt is not a deal breaker for most men. But there is a bigger issue here when we talk about plastic surgery. As I’m sure you know there are some absolute horror stories out there of women that have gotten bad butt injections that have really damaged their health and appearance. So if you decide to get augmentation make sure you go to a good board certified doctor and weigh the risk and rewards because this is definitely a huge decision.
And last but not least…. If a man just wants you because you have a big butt then he’s likely just looking for some fun and not a serious relationship. So take a second and ask yourself “Is that really the type of attention I want?”
DON’T LET YOUR BODY PARTS DEFINE WHO YOU ARE.
And last but not least, love yourself and someday a man that deserves you will do the same.
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