How Can I Tell If A Man Is Serious About Me?

Posted by in Black Love Advice

How Can I Tell If A Man Doesn’t Want a Commitment?

Listen. Men will say and do anything to get inside your panty crotch. I want you to absorb that: let it marinate for a minute. You got it?


Now that we are clear on that, the question becomes this: How can we tell if he wants to pursue a serious relationship? My answer is, only time will tell! You have to quiet your own desires for awhile in order to get to know a man.

Put Your Emotions Aside for a While

If you approach the courtship part of your relationship with pure emotions, you are going to increase your chances of doing something premature or just plain stupid (like having sex too soon). Stop feeling like you have to rush! The fact that you are unsure in the first place means something inside of you is giving you a warning: listen to your intuition.

Let me tell what kills your ability to see. It’s sex. Sex smashes your discernment and throws it right out the window, and discernment is your only defense against men with ill intent. Sex makes us women fall in love, especially when it is good sex. Sex is the glue that binds two people together. That kind of power, that kind of sharing should NEVER be done with a man that you are unsure of.

Talk, Then Talk Some More, then after that Talk Again!

Now that you know you have to put a chastity belt on your vagina, it is time to learn the art of conversation. Getting to know a man is not about coming at him armed with your interrogation questionnaire. Have you been on a job interview? You know how you rehearsed your answers to questions you suspected would be asked? It’s the same thing with a first date. We’ve heard them all before. Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Are you a one-woman man?
  • When was your last relationship, and how long did it last?”
  • How do you feel about me so far?

Self Righteous Women Get Lied To All the Time

Do not bother with the heavy philosophical questioning on the first night out with him. Keep all that on ice for a while and just have fun! Trust me, if you keep things light hearted it will relax him, and when he’s relaxed with you, he will begin to open up on his own. He will volunteer the answers you’re looking for, and this is key to mastering communication. Men do not want to feel like they are not in control. You have to set up an environment of comfort.  One where he feels he can trust that you’re emotionally mature, and when you accomplish that his true intent will surface. So let me say this again, if you act defensive and judgmental, HE WILL NOT TELL YOU THE TRUTH!!

It’s not about what you feel

You need to step out of your own ego and understand that this isn’t about you at this point, you want him to show you who he is and what he wants, you have to relax and let things ride. Men can only pretend for so long before a slip of the tongue happens, and he reveals what he’s thinking of you.

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