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Question: My new boyfriend is white and my fathers a racist!!!

Question: My new boyfriend is white and my fathers a racist!!!

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Hi BLA!!! I have a question for your staff. I met a guy and I’m falling madly in love with him. He cooks, works hard, and appreciates me more than any man I have ever known besides my father…. But there’s one problem…. He’s white and my father is a borderline racist! My father grew up in the 60’s in Mississippi around a lot of racial tensions and he and other members of my family have been victims of racism in their youth and they still harbor resentment towards white people. I now live in Washington D.C and I’m nervous about introducing my boyfriend to my family. I’m not sure if they will be accepting of my relationship, what should I do?

Hi Jasmine this is Quentin Witt responding on behalf of the blackloveadvice.com.

Let me start out by saying. Love your life, live your life, because at the end of the day it’s your life…. If you love the man your with your family is going to have to respect it no matter if he’s white, Asian, Hispanic, or black.

First things first, before you walk your boyfriend into hostile territory and an uncomfortable situation call your family and break the news to gauge their reaction. If they are angry and unwilling to accept your boyfriend, then you can’t take him to your parents house for the holidays until they are willing to accept your new relationship.

Now I believe it’s best to build your relationship on honesty, so tell your boyfriend that your family is against interracial relationships and it will take time for them to warm up to him. Let him know the struggles your family has been through with racism and how it has impacted their lives so he can understand why they feel the way they do about interracial relationships.

Next…. If you really love this guy and you feel this could be the beginning of a lasting relationship I would strongly suggest you skip going to your families home this holiday and instead spend it with your new found love. This will show a strong stance against your parents, and will likely force them to reconsider their position, which is absolutely necessary if you ever plan on marriage and having children. This will also show your boyfriend that you are 100% against your families position on interracial couples and that you will firmly stand against it.

At the end of the day, dating outside of your race isn’t as taboo as it once was and society is more accepting of interracial relationships. But there are still people who frown upon interracial relationships. But really who cares, it’s your life, the only life you will live on this earth, and no one has the right to dictate how you live it, love who you love and enjoy the ride.

Do you have a question that you need answered? Send us an email at ask@blackloveadvice.com.

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