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Is A Woman’s Independence Destroying Black Relationships?

Posted by in Black Love Advice

I know all women want security, but not all women require a man to pay their bills. Yet men in general, are still complaining about women taking advantage of their kindness—they say black women are unreasonable manipulators to a man’s wallet!

That’s not true. I don’t think we all require money.

Wait.

I’m lying my ass off here.

We all want something from men. Love isn’t free!

Yes, we do require cash flow. Even our independent “I don’t need no man” sisters want a man who can stand up for himself and help her out when she’s in a bind. We do respect men more when they come with all the “trappings”.

Now a woman who seeks sole support from her man is more likely to stick around. She will give him 100% of her time and energy because the consequence of her not doing it could result in her being put out on the sidewalk. She may truly love him but the respect factor is definitely more intense as she sees her man as her everything.

Though I do acknowledge that some independent women just want to be held at night, I think that for most of us a man has to come bearing gifts. Whether that gift is in the form of monogamy, or him screwing you every night, we all have requirements as to what we consider a ‘secure’ relationship.

Men asked for 50/50 and now they’re complaining about it!

BUT the fact is this: women that depend on men solely for support work harder (I feel) to please men because they are the source of her livelihood. If you have your own money you can exercise equality and that means he doesn’t get 100% of your attention, he gets the 50/50 deal he asked for but that means there is more room for us to go exploring choices outside our relationships.

I feel that women who are Independent are not as loyal as other women!

I know I’m gonna hear it now, lol. But let’s be honest here. Negotiations and compromises are not easily had when both parties have no reason to commit. Look at it like this. Does independence and being committed mix well together? The moment a man starts acting up, the ‘independent woman” starts contemplating her exit or HIS exit plan, or maybe she simply creates diversions (seeking other men). The need to work things out is not as intense if you don’t need him. Can we just be honest about this ladies?

We are confusing the hell out of men!

Y’all are confusing the hell out of men, and honestly, I don’t see a future where black love will be about marriage or lifetime partners. Not when women can do for themselves. But I certainly do not want to go back to a time of inequality or when raping wives was okay. It’s a quagmire now for sure; you got to pick a side I suppose. You know what?

Now I’m damn confused!!!

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