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10 Questions With…. Author Of “Listen To What He Does, Watch What He Says” Andrew Carlisle

Posted by in Black Love Advice

With books such as, “Act like a lady, Think like a man,” why do you think it’s important for woman to be aware of the difference between action and words?

If you have read “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” or most other relationship books out there, you know that they are all doing the same thing, telling you how to change in order to make things work out for you.  Changing should not even be an option unless you are changing to become a better you.  At the end of the day you can be the best person you can be but if the person you are dealing with is not ready to be in that relationship, not ready to commit, or not ready to show respect and honesty, what does it matter how much you have changed or how good you are?  Truth is, it doesn’t.  You have to first be aware, be able to not only listen to what they wish to tell you but also watch what they are doing in relation to those words.  This is how you help to protect yourself from wasted time and potentially from people who do not have your best interest at heart.

What kind of impact do you want your book to have on its readers?

I have had nothing but great feedback about my book.  The great thing is that almost all of the feedback has been the same.  It has opened people’s minds to think not only about their potential partner but also about themselves.  I never intended for this book to be a “how to” book. I wanted to be able to be as transparent as I could with people to let them know that being open and honest is okay.  It enables you to understand your own feelings and actions and to also have a bit of empathy with others.  That is the impact I want my book to have on its readers.

What’s the top thing a woman should look for to identify a good man?

Look for his sincerity in life.  Often times, women are looking for a man to show sincerity in his interest for her.  This cannot be how a good man is judged.  As we all know, in the quest for the “new new”, a man will be as sincere as he needs to be.  How sincere is he about life, in other words, pay attention to the things he say versus the things he does.  If they seem inconsistent there is probably a legitimate reason why.  To caveat this however, I would say that a good man does not necessarily mean a committed man.  Sometimes good people have problems that are bigger than what we would like to believe, it does not mean they cannot be good and could not become the man they need to be.

What do you feel is the biggest mistake woman make when meeting a man?

The biggest mistake that women make when meeting men is that they start with emotions.  Instantly the emotional blinders are turned on and the inconsistencies are never even noticed.  A woman must learn to go into a meeting with a man truly disconnected from him.  No thought of a future, no thought of how good of a man he is, just eyes and ears wide open.  Listen to his story, get to know him intimately on a mental level and let the rest come naturally.  The best policy is to “Listen to what he does, Watch what he says”

What has been your best moment as a author?

My best moment as an Author has been the impact I have been able to have on others.  I have always had a passion for helping people, it is just part of me. So to receive the many inbox messages I receive asking me for advice or just saying thank you really has made me feel that I am serving my purpose.  I have always felt that God wanted something else from me, to minister for him.  I truly feel this is my way of ministering to others, helping them to not only know better but to be better.  That is the most amazing feeling and for me the best moment as an Author.

What’s the craziest encounter you have ever had with a fan?

Well I am very new to the Author world so my fan base is still very small so for me I have not experienced anything very crazy.  I have been asked on dates by many women but to me I find that to be very flattering.  It simply tells me that women are really looking for something good but also that they are still looking for what a man “appears” to be.  I have more ministering to do.

What’s next up for Andrew Carlisle?

I am in the process of putting together a book of my favorite personal quotes.  I have been asked to do this and so I plan to give the fans what they want.  I also plan to start book number two in the next few weeks.  This will be a follow up of my first book.  I encourage all readers, if they have not read my first book to do so because the second book will bring even more.

To hear more from Andrew be sure to visit his Facebook page. It’s filled with great advice and tips on relationships.

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