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Black love

Are You In A Situationship?

Posted by in Black Love Advice

The last seven years of my life (yes, I have been keeping count) have been like watching a car crash in slow motion. Ok, maybe that is a little over dramatic but you get the point. These “accidents” certainly left me fatally wounded in the sense of picking up the scattered pieces and taking that daring drive down lover’s lane just to be rear-ended once again. In 2013, the idea of being in an actual old-fashioned guy meets girl, guy courts girl, falls in love and lives happily ever after relationship is only read in children’s books. What our society has evolved into is what I would like to call “situationships”.

A situationship is a let’s just chill, let’s just be cool, let’s have sex, and last but not least let’s be confused on the fact we are not together but have official emotions for each other.

This is what our generation considers dating ladies and gentleman. The days of, “I like you, let’s go to dinner” are over and only found in romance movies. You will have a better chance convincing a teenager Santa is real than getting them to use the classic style of courtship and dating.

But, we cannot completely fault today’s youth because just as much as we can point the finger (that means you men) we cannot blame them for going with the times. Ideally, situationships are very common and it doesn’t have to be one person you are in this arrangement with, it can go for as many people as you want without it being too complicated or just simply polygamy. This modern day form of relationships with “no strings attached, sort of” has caught on in age groups young and old; it’s so popular it should be offered as a relationship status on Facebook (feel free to notify the CEO).

Sometimes a situationship can be misidentified as a complicated relationship. Mostly, to differentiate the two is to ask yourself what was the reason that you made up and what was the first thing you did as a couple spending time together. If your answer was sex for either of the two questions you are in a situationship and I hope you are having safe sex.

Here’s an example: Cindy meets a guy named Richard they hit it off really well and even enjoy each other’s company. Richard was always a bit reserved because the relationship was brand new and Cindy was the same, but more so Cindy was really into Richard so she was a little more open than he was. Richard notices and goes in for the kill, (figuratively speaking) to what he really wants Cindy in a sexual manner. Cindy wanted Richard the same way and did not hesitate when the “let’s just chill” situation presented itself. That occurred time and time again until it just became a natural routine. Cindy has strong feelings and decides to narrow down her choices with men and focuses on Richard without that “talk” with him and drops hints he should do the same. Richard sees that Cindy has caught feelings and decides to still keep seeing other people besides Cindy. Thus, the imbalance of emotions for one another because the added sex made the equation more complicated than it needed to be.

Welcome to the dating scene in the 2000’s everyone.

About the author: Patrice J. Simpson is a freelance journalist, blogger, and active volunteer.  After graduating with a degree in mass communications from Paine College, Patrice began work on community service initiatives with other motivated individuals, where she grew in the understanding of the youth of today and since then flourished in the initiative called Project P.U.S.H. Aside from community service projects, Patrice talks about work life, music she loves, spiritual growth, and great upcoming events at her blog St8teofMind. Patrice is a loving spirit who enjoys traveling with her best friends, baking, and entertainment activities in Downtown Atlanta. She has a passion for arts and crafts, tropical beaches, upcoming sales and thrift stores, visiting historic places, Olive Garden, and basically all the glorious wonders that Atlanta has to offer single women with an awesome pair of heels. Find here on Twitter @PattyNOLabelle.

Photo Courtesy Of jennifer yin

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