A white dress, cake, saying “I do” in front of family and friends.
Do you see this in your near future?
Does it make you anxious?
Are you beginning to have second thoughts?
You’re wondering if you should get married or not. Is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Are you really ready to get married?
As anxiety inducing as the situation is try to stay calm and level headed.
You could just be experiencing “cold feet.”
However, you could be right. What if you are making a bad decision?
What if you shouldn’t get married…
You could be making a choice that could negatively impact you emotionally and financially for many years to come.
To help you avoid the adverse effects of one day having to file for divorce or endure a bad marriage.
Here are some pretty clear signs you shouldn’t get married.
If you see these things in your relationship, I advise you to postpone getting married and get couples counseling before you jump the broom… Or possibly cancel the wedding altogether.
1. You’re not as happy as you think you should be.
And the truth is you deserve to be 100% satisfied with the man you are planning on spending the rest of your life with.
If you feel that there is something missing, or if you think your partner is not the man you should marry, it is time to sit down and do some serious thinking.
First, make sure you’re not suffering from the relationship killer known as “The Grass is Greener Syndrome.”
If you don’t think you’re suffering from the above mentioned syndrome, I suggest that you and your fiance spend a little time apart to clear your heads.
As they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
So this time apart should allow you and your man to realize what it is that you love about each other and why you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
You might discover that you are simply experiencing pre-wedding jitters.
Which is an understandable reaction to the idea of permanently uniting your destiny with that of someone else’s.
However, if you find out it’s something more, it’s best that you cancel or postpone the wedding until you figure out your true feelings about the future of your relationship.
2. You are constantly trying to change one another.
This is yet another thing that should convince you that you probably ought to reconsider the idea of marriage.
If you’re not satisfied with your partner’s beliefs, desires, future plans, the way he treats you or whatever the case may be, he might not be the man for you.
Remember that trying to change one another is a huge sign that you’re not satisfied with him and he’s not satisfied with you.
Now there’s no such thing as the perfect man or perfect woman, so, of course, there will be things about each other that you’re not particularly fond of.
But if your list of things to change or improve is as long as your list of wedding invites, or includes serious issues like spousal abuse or cheating, then getting married is clearly not the right decision.
Don’t lie to yourself, this is one of the clearest signs you shouldn’t get married that there is.
3. You have drastically different life goals.
Maybe you want two kids, and he doesn’t want any children. Perhaps you would like to someday move to a different city, and he is deeply rooted where you currently live.
There are tons of other things you could disagree about, and this could eventually lead to a nasty divorce.
You have to make sure you agree on the big issues before getting married.
You should work well together and have a shared vision of where you’re both going in life.
If your paths aren’t aligned, you’re setting yourself up for some major issues compatibility in your marriage.
If you’re not sure how compatible you are check out one of our most extensive posts “Compatibility Test: 255 Simple but Significant Questions for Couples”
If will help uncover any issues that might arise in the future.
4. You don’t have much in common.
Once the intense infatuation of the “honeymoon period” are gone, you might start to notice that you and your boyfriend don’t have much in common.
You find out you don’t have the same hobbies, sense of humor, or many other mutual interest and passions.
Unfortunately, many couples are engaged by then.
Being married will include living together and sharing practically everything.
You won’t be dating anymore, you won’t just be seeing each other several times a week, you will eventually start doing pretty much everything together.
If you’re not compatible it’s going to be a very unsatisfying relationship to be in that is sure to be plagued by arguments and disagreements.
5. You’re struggling financially.
Looking for signs you shouldn’t get married? Well, this is a pretty clear one.
You might be madly in love, but if you can’t afford to support your new family and you constantly find yourself asking for loans or taking on extra hours at work or second jobs to get by you should put your marriage plans on hold for now.
Maybe it’s just a rough patch you are going through, but until you land on your feet, it’s very wise to postpone your marriage plans.
So make sure you are financial stable before you walk down the aisle.
6. You have opposite religious views.
I know this seems like an obvious one but you would be shocked at how many couples overlook their religious compatibility before getting married.
If you’re in church every Sunday while he’s instead at home drinking beer and watching football, this might eventually cause some marriage problems.
Any marriage between a devoutly religious person and a person that doesn’t care for religion will always be tough.
Don’t make this mistake. Make sure your religious views and participation align before you get married.
If you don’t, you’re very likely to regret it in the future.
Sure nearly all of these issues could be resolved.
It’s not impossible to get a rocky relationship back on track or comprise on certain differences.
He could become more involved in church, the money issues could eventually resolve themselves, you could find hobbies you both have an interest in, and you could move someplace where both of you will be happy.
However, it all depends on how much you both are willing to compromise.
Some things are deal breakers especially if we are talking about abuse, disrespect, or infidelity.
Don’t make the wrong decision. Don’t ignore these signs that you shouldn’t get married.
Plain and simple, If you realize that you and your fiance aren’t compatible in some major ways it’s a bad decision to exchange wedding vows.