Let me guess—in the beginning he pursued you. He was gung ho and you were on the fence, not sure if he fit the bill. Now you’re hurt and baffled as to what happened and why his attention shifted: you analyze every moment that led up to his distancing, you want to ask him what you did to push him away. However, when he pulls back it’s important that you don’t put yourself down or reach out to him for answers. When he pulls away you have to find your inner goddess and stay grounded and dignified.
When He Pulls Away, The Pain Can Be As Addictive As Heroin
I know how you feel right now. Before I met my partner quite a few men pulled away from me, and every time it hurt like hell. A man would slave to get in my good graces and then act like I was the thing that ate his life. He’d build me up and then knock me off my pedestal. Each time, I struggled with insecurities. I was left questioning if I was a bad person or a boring lover. I felt shame, thinking men pulled away because I was too emotional or too demanding.
I’d panic. My anxiety would spiral out of control, to the point where I felt compelled to reach out. I was no longer in the driver’s seat of my emotions. I felt worthless. And if you feel similarly, don’t beat yourself up for not asserting more confidence or for your past indiscretions in the relationship. Be gentle with the feelings provoked by his absence. But make a promise to yourself that you will take back control of your happiness.
His Break From You Is Your Chance To Break Free From Powerlessness
Even though the pain brought on by his emotional distancing is overwhelming, it’s not crippling. You do have the strength to feel invincible and glorious. You have what it takes to unleash your inner goddess and motivate him to pine after you once more.
The key is inspiring him to want to bridge the gap—not convincing him, pleading with him, yelling at him to do so, but genuinely fostering a desire for closeness. The best way to do this is to make him work to have you in his life. You have to hand him the workload and remain still. Do nothing. Free yourself of the exhaustion and bitterness brought on by chasing him. Let him come to you.
This changes your vibe and creates serenity in your relationship, allowing him to come emotionally closer to you. This forces him to honor your boundaries and respect your inner strength. It challenges him to step up, become accountable or lose you.
Get In Touch With Your Inner Goddess
One of the best ways to feel grounded and in touch with your calm, optimistic and soft side– the side that remains unruffled no matter what he does– is to think of yourself as the center of your relationship—the sun in the solar system that is your union.
The sun stays in one place and the planets revolve around it; it’s called the solar system because the sun is the focal point. Step into the role of the sun and force him to revolve around you! Stop moving toward him; stop strategizing; stop worrying about what to say or not say when and if he calls. This behavior drains you and weakens your self-belief.
Instead ‘just be’ and get in touch with your spirit, your light. The sun is nothing more than active energy and warm, life-bearing light. Fall still and go inward. Breathe and visualize the light in your heart.
Right now this light may be dim, a tiny flickering flame, but if you make the effort to visualize it intensifying and expanding every time you feel powerless, soon you will radiant your own ‘goddess glow’. This is what will make him sit up and notice you– a man can’t ignore the radiance of a quietly confident, resilient, soft and calm woman.
Be strong. Be malleable and do not break when he acts up. Know when to say ‘No’. Know when to step back from a bad situation and find inner peace– don’t leave it to him to make you happy. Stop rewarding his bad behavior with attention! Take your power back so that when he crawls back to you, you can mesmerize him.
If you want to learn more about how to handle things when he pulls away and how to let your heart pour forth with self-love and warm, positive, goddess energy, visit my blog, Connect With His Heart, and sign up for my Goddess Advice Newsletter. My tools, tips and insight will help you transform your pain and insecurities into luminous, magnetic, sexy, feminine energy.
Photo Courtesy Of Blue Skyz Media