Just how fast is “too fast” when we talk about the progression of relationships? What are the signs that it’s time to take it down a notch, let it breathe, give it some space?
Some people have so much experience in the field of dating that they claim they don’t need a lot of time to figure out they have found the right person.
After only a few dates they know whether they have found the right one or not.
While on the other hand, some people need a few months, or maybe even a couple of years to make sure they are not making a mistake by choosing to further commit to someone new.
Hearts and brains work at different paces and communicate on different frequencies. But there are still some pretty obvious signs that should indicate to you that no matter how much you like him, things are evolving way too fast.
Let’s start with this one…
Sign #1: You don’t know much about each other yet… But you’re already making life changing decisions…
Proclaiming everlasting love is pretty normal when it comes to new relationships that are still in the “honeymoon phase”.
But falling for someone you really don’t know that well in terms of family history, past relationships, previous marriages, jobs etc + making life altering decisions to further the relationship is definitely one of the signs your relationship is moving too fast.
If you have only been dating for a few weeks and the guy has already asked you to move in, or vice versa, it’s time to take a step back and slow it down.
Take some time to get to know the person you’re dating before you make big commitments or start planning for the future.
Sign #2: You get butterflies… all the time.
While this is a normal sensation when the flame is new and the passion is wild, couples that have been together for extended periods often lose this feeling of overwhelming infatuation while in the midst of one another.
If you are making life altering decisions like moving in together or opening a joint bank account while still in this phase you are making a huge mistake.
The ride can be exciting and fun but acknowledge that you will likely face a few twist and turns that could make you fly off of that rollercoaster of emotions!
Sign #3: You hardly hang out with your friends anymore.
While it is somewhat normal to want to spend as much time as you can with your new boyfriend, completely cutting off all your friends is a sign that your relationship is moving too fast.
If you are doing the same with your family, maybe even without even realizing what you are doing, it’s time to step back and let it breathe. In spite of the fact that you want to get to know him better, you cannot completely ignore everyone that was in your life before him.
Sign #4: You are taking him to meet your family…
And you are only two or three weeks into the relationship. While being open about the man you are seeing, and letting your friends and family meet him is never a bad thing, taking your new boyfriend to your parents place so quickly is a sign you’re moving too fast.
While your parents might be pleased to meet your new man, until you are certain things are evolving towards longterm commitment it might be a good idea to let a little more time go by until you do the whole “mom, dad, I’d like you to meet the man of my dreams” thing.
Taking someone to meet the parents is usually a hint that “this is serious and it’s going to lead to something bigger down the line.”
So take your time and get to really know the guy before you plan family get-togethers.
Sign #5: Your boyfriend starts to act differently.
Mainly, he might start to spend less time with you, either on the phone, on Facebook, other social networks or even face to face.
While this is something that might suggest things have changed in his regular schedule and you have nothing to worry about, it might also be a different kind of indicator.
You might be overwhelming him with your attention, he might think you are moving too fast, and this could be causing him to lose interest.
Sign #6: He has met your children… Already…
If you are a mother and you have decided to take your new boyfriend around your kids only after a few dates you are definitely moving too fast.
Without a doubt, you want to know that things are moving towards a long term relationship before you introduce a man to your children for two main reasons.
Number 1: You don’t want men jumping in and out of your children’s lives. This could lead them to develop trust issues later in life if they become attached to these men and then one day, out of the blue, their gone.
Number 2: The world is full of crazies and you would definitely want to truly know a person’s background, history, and temperament before you bring him around your children. If not… Not only are you moving too fast, but you’re moving recklessly.
These are a few of the signs your relationship is moving too fast. If you notice these things in your love life then it’s time to pump the breaks. A good relationship can easily be destroyed by moving too quickly.
Take your time. Get to know a person. And the rest will fall into place.