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Deciding Which One to Keep: A Guide to Casual Dating

Deciding Which One to Keep: A Guide to Casual Dating

Posted by in Black Love Advice

There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at the same time. If everyone is on the same page and expectations are clear, it can be a lot of fun. You don’t need to settle into a major commitment after every first date.

If you have been dating two guys for a while, the time will come where you will need to make a decision about who it is you are going to get more serious about. Casual dating definitely has an expiration date. If you do it for too long with the same person, it stops being casual. But, with the right approach you can have a great time.

Keep It Quiet.

Of course, if you are not exclusive with a guy, there is no reason that you can’t date other men. Remember to be tactful about it though. It is very likely that he doesn’t want to hear about you dating anyone else. If you are dating around, there is a good chance that he is as well. It is better if you both just keep it to yourselves. Until you decide to discuss becoming exclusive, keep the topic off of the table altogether.

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Keep Your Distance.

If you are in a casual relationship, keep it casual. Don’t message him all day long or ask a ton of questions about where he has been or what he has been doing. Besides, you don’t want to answer the same questions and have to discuss the other guy that you are dating. The same general rules apply to social media. Don’t post pictures of you out with both of the guys. Set your filters so that you need to approve any photos that you are tagged in. You would be put off by seeing photos of them with other women so assume that they would feel the same way.

Be Honest.

You do want to keep your relationships discreet but don’t actual start lying. It is fine to say that you were out with a friend last night but don’t start creating elaborate lies. You might have to omit a few details of your life but, if you aren’t exclusive with either guy, you probably aren’t discussing every last detail of your lives anyway. If he does directly ask you if you are dating other people, tell the truth. If you have been thinking about becoming exclusive with him, tell him that as well. There is no reason to lie and you will only feel guilty if you do.

Get Ready to Decide.

You probably won’t be juggling both guys for too long. Eventually, your feelings will grow or you’ll stop seeing each other. Make a critical assessment of both of them so that you can decide which one is the better match for you.

Break It Off.

Once you have made your decision, tell them. Be direct and up front. If you weren’t serious, you don’t need to have a major discussion about it. Just be honest and tell him that you think your relationship has gone as far as it will.

Ladies there’s nothing wrong with casual dating. Go out, have fun, and meet the man you want to build a future with.

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