How to Take Charge Without Emasculating Him or Bruising His Ego

How to Take Charge Without Emasculating Him or Bruising His Ego

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Are you sick and tired of going on the same old dates and ending the night with a boring bedroom routine? Tired of following his lead when you know that you are better suited to lead in a situation. Listen up, ladies! We’ve got a few tips to help you take control in your relationship without emasculating him or bruising his ego.

Although men are portrayed as strong and ready to take on anything, every man has a weakness. His ego is very sensitive. Just as women dissect text messages for hidden meanings, men often make what their partners say more complex and negative then they were meant to be received. Constantly on the defense and easily wounded, the male ego is fragile when it comes to criticism especially when it concerns their performance. Whether commenting on their abilities in the bedroom or their lack of romance, tread lightly. A man that feels emasculated will leave you as quick as 1, 2, 3, in search of his manhood in the arms of another woman.

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How to Take Charge Without Emasculating Him or Bruising His Ego

“This fool is always playing this damn video game.”

When approaching your man about your concerns, always attempt to keep the discussion current. Don’t get boggled down by past issues. Focus, ladies. What’s most important is what’s going on right now, and what changes could be made to make your future together better than ever. Stay away from phrases such as “What you’re doing isn’t working for me.” Pin pointing what he’s been doing wrong will only turn him off. The moment men hear complaining, they tune out. Instead, go for a sassy and supportive “Let’s try something new” for a softer way of saying “It’s time for a change”.

Men will receive this type of comment positively and will be more open to hearing your suggestions. It’s a fantastic way to debate new and exciting possibilities. Come prepared with ideas to keep things fresh. Throw in a seductive smile and that sexy voice he likes and he’ll easily do anything you want.

If you’re dealing with a lackluster lover, take it slow and be careful in the way you tell him to step up his bedroom game. This is the easiest area to accidentally emasculate him. So be very careful with your words.

Choose a neutral space outside the bedroom. Never discuss your partner’s shortcomings right before, during, or even right after s*x. A date or a night out is also off limits. Tact and timing is essential here. Make sure you’re in a comfortable and private space. This isn’t a conversation you want someone eaves dropping on.

How you engage eye contact means a lot.

Although women view sustained eye contact as honest and open, men see it as confrontational. Keep things casual and sit side by side so you can let your eyes wander and not scare him off. Use a positive tone to frame the conversation and discuss taking your s*xual adventures to the next level by offering s*xual suggestions instead of dismissing his current techniques or telling him what you don’t like. You can even ask your partner to suggest some new moves so the conversation doesn’t seem so one sided. It’ll give him a chance to express himself while you maintain control of the discussion.

Be specific.

If there’s something you want out of this relationship that you’re not getting let him know. Use action words. If you’re discussing bedroom activities, try telling him exactly how to do something. Do not use hints or be subtle. Men react better to direct language and are more likely to retain the knowledge if you’re straightforward. However, sometimes words won’t cut it. Saying something may not be enough. Men are very visual. It often helps to demonstrate what you want or need from them, especially in the bedroom. Don’t be shy, show him what you want. Men are often eager to please their partners in bed and he will likely be dying for you to show him your most secret desires.


Every hero has a fatal flaw ladies. Our men can be everything we dream of, but lack skill in certain areas of the relationship. Whether it’s being boring in bed or unmotivated in your bond, don’t be afraid to take charge and steer things in the right direction. Follow these simple steps and you’ll be on your way to getting what you want without emasculating him, or better yet, just upsetting that fragile male ego of his.

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