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Question: My boyfriends baby mama is using their son to destroy our relationship! What should I do?

Question: My boyfriends baby mama is using their son to destroy our relationship! What should I do?

Posted by in Black Love Advice, User polls

Hi Blackloveadvice.com readers and staff, I have a question. Me and my boyfriend have been going out now for about a year, and his baby mama doesn’t want us to be together so she keeps his son away from him. The only way he can see his son is if he goes through other family members or stays over at her house to spend time with him (What type of crap is that?)

The girl is crazy and very vindictive. I don’t like the way that she is always trying to use me as a pawn for him not being a good father. We’ve tried all methods. We even went to court for visitation of his son. It gets to the point where the situation stresses me out. I honestly don’t like her, 1 minute she wants to be friends and be cool, but she doesn’t want me around her son. What should I do? Should I sit down with her, all of us together, or should I take a step back and let him try to be in his son’s life more, on her terms even though I know that her reasons are no good?

Question answered By BlackLoveAdvice.com staff writer Quentin Witt.

Hi. BlackLoveAdvice.com staff writer Quentin Witt here. Let me start out by saying this is a very common issue. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the term “Baby mama drama.” It is often an unwelcome part of dating a man that has children from a previous relationship. But that doesn’t mean you have to lay down and just take what you view as manipulative and disrespectful behavior.

If you and your boyfriend’s relationship is becoming serious, I think it would be best if the three of you sat down and talked. She has to come to realize that you are a part of his life so in some capacity you will have to be a part of the children’s lives. That’s the reality of divorces and break ups when children are involved.  If she won’t accept that, and keeps withholding him from seeing his son and using the child as a tool to destroy your relationship, then the only way it can be resolved is through the courts.

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