If you have been dating him for a couple of months but aren’t sure where your relationship stands it can be incredibly frustrating. It is probably starting to feel like you two are a couple, but you don’t know if he is dating other people, and if so, maybe you should be seeing what else is out there, (at least that’s what the voice in the back of your mind keeps telling you). If the uncertainty is starting to eat away at you, and your unsure if you’re really his girlfriend or not, just look out for these clues.
You Haven’t Met His Friends and Family
After a couple of months of dating, you really should have met at least a few of the important people in his life. If he is drawing a distinct line between you and his friends and family, something is up and it is probably not good. You shouldn’t expect to immediately be invited over for a formal family dinner, but he should be starting to include you in progressively more aspects of his life as time goes on. A few guys’ nights out are one thing, but it’s a definite red flag if you have never even laid eyes on his friends and especially his family.
You Aren’t Getting Invitations
Most people have some type of event at least once a month. Whether it is a work dinner or a friend’s birthday party, he is probably getting some invites. If you are a major part of his life, he will probably invite you to come along with him. If you are in a serious relationship, he has probably been talking about you to the important people in his life. Eventually, those people would want to meet you and will ask him to invite you. If this isn’t happening, he isn’t talking about you.
Your Schedule Is Very Restricted
If he is always avoiding making long-term plans, there is a definite issue. There is no reason to be planning next year if you have only been together a couple of months, but he should at least be able to plan for things a few weeks ahead. If he can’t, look out. He is either commitment phobic, or he doesn’t see you in his future.
In general, people spend their time on things that they care about. You can probably get a pretty good idea of what is important to him by looking at how he spends his time. If you are a big part of his life, you will also be a big part of his schedule. If your time together is restricted to weekdays, and he spends his weekend doing something else, with someone else, there’s a problem.
He Is Shy About Labels
The best way to know the status of your relationship is to talk about it with him. If he says that he doesn’t like labeling things, get up and walk out. Delete his phone number on your trip home. That might be a bit extreme, but that is lousy communication on his part. If you want a serious relationship and all he can talk about is his discomfort with relationships, this probably isn’t going to end well. Do give him some time, but make sure that he has the same relationship goals as you.
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