After a breakup being friends with your ex can be tempting. It’s hard for most of us to let go of someone who was such a major part of our lives.
How can we let go of someone who has been so important to us? Someone we spent a significant amount of our time with? Someone we share not only bad memories but good memories with?
You’re not ready to completely forget him, but you’re also unsure if you can really be “just friends.”
The truth is: Being friends with your ex is a bad idea.
Here are the top 5 reasons it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
1. He broke your heart.
This one should be obvious. You can’t be friends with someone who ripped your heart out and stepped on it.
No matter how hard you try, he will always be the man that did you wrong and a constant reminder of not only the good times you had together but also the really bad times.
Don’t put yourself through this.
Give your heart a break and spend time with your real friends instead of your ex.
The past is the past and it’s time to move on to bigger and better things. In fact, you might even want to thank him for breaking your heart when it’s all said and done.
2. It’s unfair to your other relationships.
If you’re dating someone new he probably won’t be excited by the idea of you hanging out with your ex boyfriend.
What’s the point?
Why risk destroying the trust you are trying to build with the new man in your life to maintain a relationship with a past flame that has long since burned out?
Sometimes it’s best to just leave the past in the past and this is definitely one of those times.
3. You probably have some really freaky memories about each other.
There’s no going back after this. You’ve hooked up, felt up, and likely kissed every inch of each other’s bodies.
How is he supposed to look at you and not think about that from time to time? The truth is, he probably can’t… And vice versa…
Which leads me to my next point…
4. The regrettable hook up.
Because you’ve been there, it’s hard not to go back.
The odds are that your ex boyfriend will be holding onto the hope that you will remember how many amazing times you had in the bedroom. And that at some point you might want to have a little late night deja vu.
Nothing good will come from that and you know it.
Hooking up will leave you feeling used, or eager to restart the relationship with him.
However, most often in these situations for the man having sex with his ex is nothing more than a no strings attached hook up.
Remember there’s a reason you two broke up in the first place.
Hooking up with him is the equivalent of breaking your own heart.
5. You know each other a little bit too well.
You were a couple, so like most couples you likely spent a lot of time with each other.
You know all of his quirks, weird habits, strange birthmarks, and his crazy family.
Simply put, there’s a lot of history between the two of you.
You know way too much about each other. You both experienced the other with nearly no boundaries, which means it can be hard to be just friends.
How do you expect things to go once one of you brings up a new relationship?
For most couples that breakup and try to be just friends this causes a lot of friction.
They quickly find out how difficult it can be to watch someone who was once yours now be someone else’s.
Besides just that, you two can’t possibly give each other advice without being biased. You’ll end up sabotaging each other’s lives without meaning to.
There’s also the risk that you’ll hurt each other again and again because you know exactly how to push each other’s buttons.
It’s nearly impossible to create a solid friendship out of an old relationship.
You two have been through a lot and there’s no going back now. It’s not fair to yourself, your next love interest, or the people around you. Keep your heart and sanity in mind and stay away from your ex. Even if it hurts thinking about forgetting him, it’s in your best interest.
Your ex is your ex for a reason, the best is yet to come. Don’t poison your future with the venom of the past.
Being friends with your ex is a bad idea.