It has long been stated that close to 50% of marriages end in divorce. Well, recent studies indicate that that number is a tad bit exaggerated.
Some sources say the divorce rate is as low as 1/3 while many scholars still hold onto the 50% notion.
Plain and simple, when it comes to the actual divorce rate the jury is still out on this one. However, one thing is clear, a lot of people do get divorced. From celebrity couples, to our friends and neighbors.
So I beg the question: Why do so many people get divorced?
For couples who get divorced, the marriage vows that carried weight are no longer meaningful or relevant.
In all religions and belief systems, a statement that is never absent in the marriage vows is “until death do us part.” However, the divorce rate today makes me wonder if this declaration should still be present in wedding vows.
So why does this happen?
Why are so many people at this very moment contemplating if they should get a divorce or not?
Why is the divorce rate so high?
Well, there are some very valid reasons why marriages falter, and in some cases, divorce is the right choice.
Nevertheless, the reasons many divorced people give for ending their marriages are plain ridiculous.
Today, it seems that marriages are so fragile that even the normal circumstances of life can strain relationships so much that they are damaged beyond repair.
Let’s examine some of the main reasons why people get divorced and how a person can save their marriage.
1. Lack of Commitment.
Marriage takes high levels of commitment, which many people just aren’t willing to put forth.
In marriage, each party has to commit all they have to make the marriage work amidst the difficulties of married life, and the often stressful circumstances of life in general.
Many people just aren’t ready to put in the high level of effort it takes to make it work.
Which if this is the case, they should had never got married in the first place.
2. Unrealistic Expectations.
When two people in love feel that it’s time to take that next step, they invest a lot of emotions into the thought of being married and often have unrealistic expectations of what married life will be like.
When these far-fetched expectations are not met, the marriage often crumbles.
It usually starts with frequent arguments, then grudges, and soon after, divorce court.
If couples that plan on getting married would work on their communication skills, apologize for their mistakes, and learn how to end petty disagreements before they grow into huge fights, many divorces could be avoided.
This is probably the most common reason people get divorced.
In most cases, it is unforgivable, and the victim usually feels cheated, unappreciated and played for a fool.
It is perhaps the most valid reason for divorce.
Regardless of that stat, the best tip on how to save your marriage from this pitfall is simple; be faithful to your partner.
Side Note: Like I stated above, some marriages do survive a cheating incident and become stronger. Wendy Williams for instance actually said her marriage was strengthened by her husband cheating on her.
The first thing a man sees in a woman is her beauty. If the woman also finds the man attractive, then physical compatibility will bring them together.
Unfortunately, physical compatibility alone does not produce lasting relationships. There is also mental, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual compatibility.
If these things are absent, the marriage will eventually come to an end.
5. Domestic Violence.
Even though domestic violence is illegal, it still happens far too often.
Men are usually the culprits, but the reverse is beginning to happen more often.
The question is, how can you abuse the person you claim to love?
If he hits you, divorce him. Period. Nobody deserves to be a victim of domestic violence and as time goes on his behavior will likely escalate to dangerous levels.
6. Work and Family Pressures.
The nature of some people’s jobs brings stress into their marriages, and that extra stress often leads to divorce.
A good example is that seen among law enforcement officers.
At times, the pressure of family, work, and finance is just too much for a marriage to withstand.
For nearly all couples, it’s a difficult but doable task to find the perfect balance between married life and their outside pressures and responsibilities.
7. Family Background.
Research shows that a significant number of children grow up in single parent or divorced households.
Some of these children grow up so emotionally affected by this that they live the rest of their lives believing that marriages are doomed to failure.
And this often plays out in their relationships as adults. In fact, one study found that adults who experience parental divorce have chances of divorce 38 percent higher than adults raised in intact families.
Obviously, the impact of witnessing a divorce can linger for may years.
The only option here is for the person to seek counseling to work through the emotions and adverse effects of witnessing their parents divorce and all the negativity surrounding it.
Divorce is a serious issue in today’s society, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Now that you know the most common reasons for divorce, and how you can save a marriage, it is time to walk the walk and talk the talk. Whether you’re married now, or will be one day, be sure to give the marriage everything you have.
Ultimately it is you and your partner’s responsibility to ensure that your marriage works.