When we think of cheating, we often see the big picture: Sex, kissing, touching.
However, there’s more to being intimate with someone than the physical.
Us humans are emotional creatures which opens the door for another type of infidelity: Emotional affairs.
Are you concerned that you might be having an emotional affair? For that matter, what are the signs of an emotional affair anyway?
Today I’m going to break down the tell-tell signs that you might be getting a little too close to that friend or co-worker and the lines between friendship and relationship are beginning to blur.
Emotional affairs often lead to something more, so this is a very serious issue for couples to confront.
So… The question is, are you having an emotional affair?
Here are 6 signs that you are.
1. You have a secret friend.
Your boyfriend doesn’t know about him. Your friends barely know about him. Essentially this person is a secret… And deep down you kind of want to keep it that way.
This is a major indicator that you’re having an emotional affair.
If you feel the need to hide this person from your significant other, it shows that in some way you feel that the relationship you’re carrying on with this person is inappropriate.
If you have to keep a friend secret from your boyfriend… You should either:
- Tell your boyfriend about this person and no longer keep the relationship a secret.
- End the friendship.
- Breakup with your boyfriend.
Secrets of any kind are harmful to relationships… However, this type of secret is particularly dangerous.
This is how most affairs begin.
2. This male “friend” is the shoulder you cry on when you and your man are having problems.
So you and your boyfriend just got into another argument, and there’s no one around for you to talk to.
So what do you do?
You call up that male friend that your boyfriend doesn’t know about.
He’s cute, funny, and always tells you what you need or want to hear.
Sharing your relationship problems and concerns with one particular guy, that’s not your man is a sign of emotional straying.
You’re looking for comfort elsewhere, searching for an emotional connection…
For like of a better way to put it you’re having emotional flings with another man.
He’s there when you need him, even there when you don’t.
You kinda think he has a thing for you… And you take full advantage of that when your man is getting on your nerves.
3. You’re dressing to impress…
Remember when you had a crush on that cute boy in 7th grade?
You’d get dolled up for school paying extra attention to detail. You’d laugh at all his jokes, make sure to sit by him. Relishing any interaction, you would have with him.
When a person is having an emotional affair, they tend to behave the same way.
They get dressed up when they know they’re going to see that person. They over-think their outfits, apply their makeup with precision, and general overdress for the occasion.
Notice yourself doing these things?
Well, you’re definitely having an emotional affair, and it’s on the verge of becoming something more.
4. You’re going on solo outings.
There’s a big secret you’ve been hiding… You do stuff with your guy friend… Fun things.
Going to the movies, visiting museums, and maybe even spa dates…
Your guy friend is up for all the things you love, (or at least he pretends to be.) Unlike your guy, he’s a blast to be around. You take advantage of your similar interests, but your boyfriend doesn’t know…
In fact, you lie and tell him you’re working late… Or that you’re just hanging out with your girls.
5. You playfully flirt with each other.
All that play flirting can lead to the bedroom real fast.
Frequently flirting with a man who’s not your man is a sign of an emotional affair.
Beware: One small step leads to another. This week it’s a wink, next week it’s flirty touching, the week after that it’s a kiss.
Do yourself a favor. Cut it out before things get out of control.
6. You confide in him.
More than just sharing your relationship troubles with another man, you’re now turning to him first every time something happens.
Good or bad, he’s the first to know what’s going on in your life.
From hearing about your day or being there for you when you’re going through family struggles, he’s not your boyfriend, but he’s the one you turn to.
When you stop going to your man first, you’ve slipped into an emotional affair that’s going to be hard to escape from.
Notice how you act around other men.
What’s the difference between your typical guy friends and the guy from work who makes you smile with every secret text?
If you’re being cute and giddy with someone else, it’s fair to say that you are having an emotional affair.
Now I want you to consider how you feel about you and your boyfriend’s relationship.
Are you two not talking enough? Is he not the right man for you?
What is the reason you’re turning away from your guy and looking elsewhere to fulfill your emotional needs?…
Are you really happy with your relationship? Maybe that’s the question you should be asking.