Natural communicators, women often ask questions freely. When it comes to reading a situation and a person’s feelings, questions are necessary in our book.
However, there are some questions we shouldn’t, but can’t help but to ask… And often, the person on the other end of these questions are our boyfriends or husbands, and secretly it turns them completely off.
What are these questions? Well, let’s start with this one…
1. What are you thinking about?
This is a favorite for a lot of women, but it’s not a crowd pleaser. Women are all about analyzing and dissecting through verbal communication. Men? Not so much. Eager to understand how our men feel, we use this question in an attempt to delve into their minds. Truth be told, there may not be too much going on in there. Unlike women, men aren’t constantly running through an endless supply of thoughts at the speed of light. They tend to process things slowly and are more likely to show emotions through actions and not words. Asking this question only annoys men and makes them feel like they have no privacy. If you really want him to open up I suggest using these subtle conversation starters.
2. Do you love me?
We all long to love and be loved in return. We want to know how the men in our lives feel about us. But asking outright might backfire, particularly when it’s too early in the relationship. Many men will feel pressured to say yes, even if they aren’t in love or feel it’s too soon to bring up the subject. Saying that four letter word comes with a lot of commitment. And asking, “do you love me” puts the pressure on. Research has shown that men are more likely to show love through subtle actions. If you want to know if he really loves you, be on the lookout for these non verbal signs that he does.
3. What do you like about me?
Most people have a natural born instinct to recognize traps, and this one is a doozy. What runs through his mind goes something like this, “If I say something physical, she might think I only like her for her body. If I say she’s smart, she might think I don’t find her attractive.” What’s a guy to do? Lol. Men don’t like to be put in, “on the spot” situations. Unlike women, men are not eager to evaluate. More often than not, if a man likes you, he’ll let you know and tell you why in due time. Ask and you may never get the answer you want.
4. How do I look in this?
This is labeled in the “do not touch” section of the guy code manual. It’s a dead zone, the trap of all traps. First off, most men aren’t programmed to analyze the contents of a woman’s wardrobe. They’re all about the big picture, and you’re looking at the tiny details. Second off, if he thinks your outfit doesn’t look particularly good, he can’t tell you, only an insensitive jerk would tell his wife or girlfriend, “You look fat in that dress.”
If you’re looking for expertise and honesty, go to your girls for fashion advice. Men will only say what they assume is the answer that won’t start an argument.
5. How many women have you slept with?
A great question to ask if you’re concerned about sexual health, but a dangerous one nonetheless. Some guys have been around the block a few times. What’s the right answer? Is there a wrong one? Will he even tell you the truth? Highly unlikely.
6. Do you say that to all the girls?
Men find it irritating to have a woman question their sincerity. But, besides his annoyance with the question, this is a dead end street. If he’s trying to run game do you think he would really tell you? No. So why even ask? Just keep your eyes open and trust your instincts.
Remember ladies, men are creatures of action. They’d rather show their feelings than talk about them. Have confidence and trust in your guy, his true feelings will always reveal themselves.