“The biggest enemy of a happy relationship is blame. Blame and finger pointing have no place in a healthy, intimate connection.” -Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon
I have to say I agree 100%. Playing the blame game is a surefire way to destroy your relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you have to stay silent when your partner does something you don’t like.
“Raising a complaint or a concern is absolutely legitimate in a relationship, but there’s a way to bring it up,” Solomon advises.
Rather than pointing fingers she suggests focusing on your experience and your own feelings. As an example she says you should say,
“When you did this, in this situation, I felt hurt, I felt angry. It’s going to go a heck of a lot better than just pointing out the way that you let me down, or the way that you screwed up. All that invites is defensiveness and a power struggle.”
Great advice for all the couples out there that may be experiencing a rough spot in their relationship. Don’t play the blame game. It’s a road that leads to disaster.