6 Relationship Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making

6 Relationship Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Finding a good man to build a relationship with is hard enough as it is; but, just how frustrating is it to find a man that you think might be the one, only to have the relationship end disastrously.

Why does this keep happening?

Is it you?

Is it him?

Are you just not compatible?

Let’s find the root cause by exploring a few of the most common relationship mistakes women make, that we often don’t know we are making.

Mistake #1: Spending too much time together.

Many couples completely overlook this, but spending too much time together is just as harmful to a relationship as spending too much time apart. Ladies, you might want to spend as much time as you possibly can with your man, especially if the relationship is new, but resist this temptation, time apart is needed to keep your relationship healthy.

Mistake #2: Taking your man for granted.

In other words, you rarely stop and think what would your life be like without him in it.

Which leads you to not being as warm and affectionate as you were in the beginning.

This, to some degree, is the normal evolution of all relationships that have matured past the honeymoon phase. However, you are making a big mistake if you never take the time to show him your appreciation for the little things.

Mistake #3: Being too anxious about the relationship.

You keep asking him if he really cares about you, how much he loves you. Your mind constantly replays scenarios of him cheating on you, and paranoia courses through your veins at the smallest gesture that might indicate infidelity.

This is not healthy for you or your relationship, being anxiously attached will only push your partner away.

It’s time to trust his word if he has given you no valid reason to think he’s being untruthful. Instead of looking for the signs that he’s cheating and doesn’t really love you, try looking for these signs that indicate that he truly does care about you.

Mistake #4: Not talking about what bothers you. 

He ask what’s wrong, and you say “nothing.” Instead of directly telling him what’s upsetting you, you tell your family and friends and leave your man in the dark searching for answers.

He’s not a psychic mind reader. Good relationships are built on strong communication.

Not only that but not expressing how you feel will accumulate over time leading to one BIG blow out argument. Don’t let small angers mount, express how you feel in a productive way.

However, you must “fight right” here’s a quick tip from former contributor Jeff C:

Keep It Clean. Arguments can quickly take a downward spiral if you get off-topic and start making childish comments. Agree to a set of argument rules and stick to them. Don’t name-call or make accusations about something your partner “always” or “never” does. If one of you stops playing by the rules, call a time-out. Agree that you can only argue about one thing at a time and that a time-out must always be respected.

Mistake #5: Being passive-aggressive. 

Once again, it’s always better to directly express your feelings than to let them out in passive-aggressive ways like:

  • Disguising criticism as compliments.
  • Giving him the silent treatment.
  • Answering the question “What’s wrong?” with “Nothing” even though there is clearly something wrong.

For a complete list of common passive-aggressive behaviors, you should avoid CLICK HERE.

At the end what it all boils down to is it’s always better to verbally communicate your feelings in a relationship.

Mistake #6: Constantly questioning the future of your relationship.

Is he really the one? How long will this relationship last? Will we be together in 5 years?

Stop asking yourself these questions repeatedly.

By doing this, you are more or less consciously searching for a plan B and hindering yourself from truly committing to the relationship. This will only send out signals of distrust, leading to your inability to grow as a couple and truly be happy together.


Knowing is indeed half of the battle. Once you realize you are making these mistakes in your relationship they are easy to avoid. Which one of these common relationship mistakes are you guilty of committing? Do you have a few to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

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