He Says He's Ready But He's Not: 6 Warning Signs He's Not Ready To Be A Father

He Says He’s Ready But He’s Not: 6 Warning Signs He’s Not Ready To Be A Father

Posted by in Black Love Advice

So you’ve met the man of your dreams, and you’re ready to make one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life… The decision to bring a child into this world…

At this point, your head is probably swimming with questions. Is he the one? Are we ready to start a family? How will we provide financially?

Those are all great questions. But, there’s one question you must consider when deciding if you’re ready to take this very serious next step in your relationship: Is he ready to be a father?

Many men say they are ready when in reality, they aren’t, which is proven by their actions after the child is born.

Don’t fall for this trap.

His actions before you have a child with him will prove if he’s ready to be a father or not. All you have to do is look at the facts and don’t deny the truth.

Here are 6 signs he’s NOT ready to be a father that you shouldn’t ignore.

1. He has his eye on other women.

He Says He's Ready But He's Not: 6 Warning Signs He's Not Ready To Be A Father

Let’s address this first┬ábecause it’s the most obvious, but often overlooked. Has he cheated on you before? Does he have a Facebook page full of random women that he flirts with? What about his phone? Is it full of text messages from other women?

Believe me when I tell you this: One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is having a baby to try to keep a man.

Don’t do it.

If you do, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of heartache and pain.

2. He’s self-centered.

Take a step back and examine the way your man handles daily situations. Does the outcome of his choices often favor others or himself?

If he tends to focus on his wants and needs more than others, this is a bad sign. Being a family man is all about “service above self.”

A great leader is one who serves. A leader isn’t just someone who’s in charge and barks orders and passes the blame onto others. A real leader is someone who considers how every choice they make can positively or negatively affect others.

Consider your own relationship. Does he involve and consider you in his decision making?

Does he do things in service of you or just himself?

If the answer to these questions is no, then that’s one of the clearest signs he’s not ready to be a father you can have.

You want a man who will cherish your children and your family before himself. And will think of the family and how his actions will affect the family in every decision he makes.

If you don’t think that sounds like your man, then second guess having a baby by him.

3. He has a lack of vision.

A leader without goals is a weak leader. Is he passionate about something? Is he motivated? If he has no clear vision of what he wants for himself and his future how can you expect him to have a vision for your relationship and your family?

He will not be able to inspire or motivate your children if he can’t even inspire and motivate himself.

It’s like the blind leading the blind. Nothing good can come of it.

Discuss his goals with him. Where does he see himself in a few years? What are his employment plans? Does he have any plans at all?

Don’t let him convince you that he, “lives in the moment” and that’s okay.

The future is a real thing, and a real man plans for it.

4. Lack of Performance.

Get your mind out of the gutter ladies! ????????????

I’m talking about a different kind of performance. Look at his track record. Has he ever lied to you? Does he make promises he can’t keep?

If you’ve answered yes to either of these questions that spells trouble.

If he can’t do something as simple as be honest and keep his word, how can you trust him with something as important as helping you raise children?

Have a “put up or shut up” attitude when considering who is worthy of leading your family.

Plain and simple: If he’s all talk, he’s not ready to be a father.

5. He’s Irresponsible.

This one is self-explanatory.

Carelessness is not cool.

One thing that’s mandatory to raise a family is accountability.

Your child needs someone he or she can depend on. If you can’t trust him to get things done then what can you trust him to do?

Does he help out around the house? Has he ever helped you do anything? If he isn’t interested in stepping up now, he’ll be less likely to do it in the future.

6. Frequent arguments that get out of control… Mainly because he’s verbally disrespectful…

He Says He's Ready But He's Not: 6 Warning Signs He's Not Ready To Be A Father

Having a good relationship is based on good communication more than anything else.

If you two already spend a ton of time arguing and yelling at each other, having a baby isn’t going to change that. The only thing that will change is that you will now have an impressionable onlooker to watch the two of you fight…

That’s not a good look.


Choose carefully when considering building a family with someone. You want a man who can lead, someone who is not only strong in your relationship but confident and forward thinking in his own life.

No matter what his mouth says, use these 6 signs to determine if he’s really ready to be a father or not.

Remember, if you start off with a strong foundation, nothing can knock you down. Don’t rush your decision or take it lightly. Not only your future but your child’s future depends on it.

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