Make Him Chase You Instead. Here's How...

Make Him Chase You Instead. Here’s How…

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Warning: The tips I’m about to reveal will be shocking and controversial to some. Viewer discretion is advised.

So you’re playing the game of cat and mouse, steadily chasing the man in your life for his undivided attention?

Stop right now!

The truth is the harder a person has to work for something, the more they value it. So in other words, he should be the one doing the chasing, not you if you really want his unmatched devotion.

Let’s tilt the balance of power back in your favor.

Here’s how:

Tip #1: Embrace your options.

This is by far my most controversial bit of advice. However, it is guaranteed to produce results. What you want to do is show him that you have other romantic options. Whether it’s a guy that keeps flirting with you at work, or men out in public that keep trying to grab your attention. Make him aware that there are other men that desire you. This will trigger, “Loss Aversion” and “Social Proof

Simply put. They teach you in psychology that:

  1. People intensely hate losses, and they especially hate losing things to competitors.
  2. People take cues from others about how they should behave or what they should want by watching how other people behave and gauging the thing’s other people want.

By him seeing that you have other romantic options and that he could possibly lose you to another man, he will intensely begin to crave you.

No man wants to lose his love interest to another man.

And by seeing that other men want you, he will take the subconscious cue that you are immensely desirable to others, intensifying his own desire to be with you.

Now that he’s alert to the fact that you have other options, and that you are desired by romantic competitors, let’s move on to how to further make him crave your affection.

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Tip #2: Embrace your femininity. 

Research has shown that staring at attractive women lights up the same part of the male brain as a hit of cocaine.

Seriously, to the male mind, female beauty is a potent drug.

Just take a look at the biological reaction a man has when a beautiful woman catches his eye:

  • Reward centers in the brain fire off, releasing positive feeling chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, triggering feelings of pleasure, motivation, and reward.
  • Testosterone and arousal levels spike, encouraging risky and impulsive behavior.
  • A man’s hypothalamus is stimulated. Resulting in faster heart rate, high sexual arousal, and perspiration.

As you can see from the list above, whatever you do don’t discount the fact that your feminine beauty drives men crazy! Embrace your femininity, you don’t have to dress provocative to do it, just wear something that gently accentuates your figure. You will drive him wild on a conscious and subconscious level.

Tip #3: Be more self-confident! 

People are attracted to confidence. Don’t second guess yourself, be confident in your appearance, be confident in who you are. Not only will this make you more attractive to others, but it will also make you feel better about yourself.

Tip #4: Don’t over text or call. 

This tip is mainly for woman that are just starting a relationship with a new man. He should be the one initiating calls and text most of the time. I suggest a 2:1 ratio. Once again, you want him to work for your attention and affection, that way he will appreciate it more when he finally receives it.

Tip #5: Never compete with other women over him!

If you sense the slightest hint that he’s trying to make you jealous, don’t fall for the trap!

Take a step back, give him his space, and let him decide who he wants to be with. Let him know you want him to be happy, and to let you know when he’s ready to be a one woman man. Period. At that point, he will either step up or step off. Either way, you will win by not falling into the tendency of competing against other women for his attention.

Tip #6: Love yourself no matter what.

Never change your look, or wear clothes that do not represent you for a man. Embrace the “take it or leave it” approach when dating. Once again, your self-confidence will shine through, making you more desirable to him.

Tip #7: Don’t share every detail of your life with him.

Let your answering machine catch his phone calls every now and then; do not broadcast every minute of your existence with him. Limit your availability and keep a hint of mystery in your relationship, especially in the beginning.


It is my opinion that no woman should have to chase a man for his attention. However, it very often happens. These 7 tips are sure to shake up a few of those relationships. Use them wisely ladies.

For more advice like this be sure to check out my book: Secrets Revealed: The Uncut Truth That Will Change Your Love Life Forever.

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