The Secret to Making Better Decisions in Your Love Life….

Posted by in Black Love Advice

So I’m sitting here, early morning thinking of how I almost gave it all up. My future. Watching my kids grow. Sitting here speaking to you right now. I tell you no lie when I say the streets almost took me. There has to be a god because no one man could be so lucky.

The thought of how I almost lost my life at a young age lead me to a few different points.

  1. It’s crazy how when you’re swimming in shit you can’t smell it. Let me expand on that by giving you an example that I’m sure you can relate to.

Have you ever walked into someone’s house and it had a foul odor that made your stomach turn, but at the same time the people that live in the house can’t smell it.

  1. It’s very hard to analyze your current situation when you’re caught up in it.

From birth until the age of 22 I lived in a neighborhood infested by drugs, all my friends were criminals, people going to jail and dying was just a way of life. I couldn’t see the horror of my circumstances, I was in the dark about how bad my living conditions were, but when I moved away, at the age of 23, it became oh so clear.

Which leads me to my third and most important point.

Sometimes we all need to step back from life to see what’s really going on. Whether that be your relationship, your current employment situation, your group of friends.

There is a very distinct power in being able to judge yourself as if you were watching someone else endure your current situation or make the choices you are making.

Studies have shown that we are far more accurate when judging the future prospects and outcomes of others actions than when judging our own future prospects and actions.


Because of what psychologist call the optimism bias, which is just a psychological tendency that is a natural part of the human condition.

One surefire way to combat this is to step back, take a breather, and analyze your relationship or actions as if you were a spectator instead of a participant.

If you’re in a relationship with a man that cheats on you, doesn’t support you financially, or maybe even hits you. How would you view that if it was a friend or family member in that situation? Would you think they’re being a fool for staying in the situation?

That’s the type of analysis that I use almost daily in life. It has helped me avoid bad decisions and quickly correct myself when I do make bad decisions.

You could do the same with great results.

Until next time, thank you for reading.

Signing off -Quentin Witt.

PS: If you haven’t checked out my new book Face the Facts: The Uncut Truth That Will Change Your Love Life Forever, you can do so here.

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