It’s a wonderful thing to have friends and family for support and advice. However, sometimes those well meaning support systems could actually share advice that could cause your love life harm. It’s important to separate the good from the bad. Your love life and relationship could depend on it.
Here are 6 culprits to watch out for.
1. If you stay… He’ll change.
In the case of a man that does not have the capacity to be consistently faithful or honest, it is paramount to your mental health and life that you decide if the relationship is really worth it. (It’s not)
A person will always show you their true colors. Although there is something to be said for working toward solutions in a relationship, it’s also important that you are not a doormat for misuse. If you continue to allow unacceptable behavior it will continue. As my grandmother use to say, “A man is going to do to you only what you let him.”
2. You have to change… For the sake of the relationship.
Unless you have some type of life-altering addiction like drugs or alcohol, it is not necessary to morph yourself into someone’s ideal of you.
In your relationship, you should be accepted as your individual self and unless it’s a detrimental thing, your partner should 100% accept you as you are. If he can’t accept you for the person you are then your are undeniably dating the wrong person.
3. If you don’t trust him, search thru his stuff.
Not only is it a violation of your man’s privacy, it is hurtful. The rule of ‘do unto others as you would have them do onto you’ is definitely at play here. How would you feel if your man looked thru your text messages or your Facebook page. It is said, “Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing at all.” Well, I say if you distrust someone enough to search through their phone there has already been a breakdown of the trust factor in the relationship.
Relationships are built on trust and if your bank of trust has a negative balance you will only receive negative results. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship, have a verbal conversation and come to a conclusion that either takes your relationship to the next level or closes out all transactions.
4. Forgive and Forget.
Reconciliation is great. If the same issue keeps reoccurring without change or regard to your feelings that is not reconciliation. To forgive is always a great thing because it frees you. Forgetting is another story. It’s a good thing to give a pass for certain flaws that may be counted as mistakes. When forgiveness is taken for granted after some time it transforms into allowance and that is a slippery slope. With that slope increases the chance of further disrespect and once someone is comfortable disrespecting you, they will continue to do it.
5. Settle… It’s okay.
No matter how loneliness may gnaw at your heels any companion won’t do. It is important to know exactly what you want. If you accept anything else you’ll end up with less than you deserve. Having a mate just for the sake of another body in your presence or in your bed could turn out to be worse than the loneliness you previously felt. Completely basing your criteria on the outer appearance of a person is also a recipe for disaster. Biceps and triceps do not equal honesty and loyalty. An abundant bank account does not equal a good character.
6. Wait for the ‘Fairy tale’ romance.
When we were children the story of Cinderella was so enchanting and hopeful. When we become adults many are still in search of that fairy tale.
It is thought that Prince Charming will come along and he will be the “perfect man”. Then the sting of reality snaps you out of that fantasy. We are humans with flaws and those are storybook ‘characters’. When in a relationship real life happens and not every situation will have the ideal outcome. Love is a beautiful thing within a healthy perspective and without perfectionist ideals.
Take note of your own situation. Sometimes the best intended advice is not to be completely exercised. Not everyone is in a position to give you advice about love. Once you take account of what you want and need and look at the entire picture yourself, you should be able to make the best determination for your own life. Don’t let bad advice ruin a good relationship.