How to Find Love in a World of Liars, Cheaters, Abusers and Misusers

How to Find Love in a World of Liars, Cheaters, Abusers and Misusers

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Have you at any time in your life gone through a messy breakup due to a cheating or an abusive partner?

If so then it probably took you awhile to recover… You might be still recovering and wondering if love actually exist.

In many cases, people who go through these types of breakups find it hard to trust again, and even when they start to catch feelings for someone new, they tend to shy away out of fear that what they went through in the past might happen again.

While it is true that you should be cautious before entering a new relationship, it is also worth noting that all the potential partners out there aren’t like your former liar, cheater, abuser, or misuser.

Yes, you can find love and a good man. There are plenty of them out there.

Here’s where to start…

First of all, love yourself.

Finding true love must always begin by loving yourself. Unless this happens, allowing others to love you just won’t happen. A problem that many people, man and woman, are struggling with today.

I’ve discovered that many people looking for love do not find it simply because they are insecure, struggling with fear of abandonment and do not accept and love themselves first. Believe me when I tell you, it is hard to appreciate love from someone else if you don’t love yourself first.

Accept yourself, forgive yourself for any past mistakes, and love the woman you look at in the mirror every morning. You will be surprised at how easy it is to attract true love once you do.

Let go of the past.

As I said above you have to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Now I don’t want to pretend that letting go of the past is necessarily easy to do.

I have struggled with my past and I know you too have struggled with your past, and you’re possibly still struggling with it.

Whether it’s cheating on an ex, being involved with the wrong man, domestic violence, or childhood abuse, you have to let it go. Talk to your minister, a close friend, a counselor if you need to. Whatever it takes to leave the past in the past and move forward. Nobody is perfect.

Don’t be quick to go to bed.

Anything worth having is worth waiting for. And any man that wants a relationship with you will respect that!

There is always a temptation to give in to sex too quickly, especially after a breakup. You meet this nice looking guy who seems to be caring and within a short time you feel loved and appreciated thus giving yourself away sexually.

Don’t fall into this trap, it will only scar you if the relationship doesn’t work out. Then you have to deal with the issue of will he ever truly respect you if you gave up the goodies too fast?

Cultivate self-control and wait until you are sure he is the right one. That’s a primary key to finding love in a world where it’s so hard to find.


It is important to understand exactly what it is that you are looking for in a relationship. If your goal is not defined, falling for any “Tom, Dick and Harry” will be easy and this will wreak havoc in your life. Remember, not every smiling guy out there will give you what you really want and deserve, no matter how much you are physically attracted to him. Choose carefully and work on your self image first. Never use sex to try to keep a man committed to you. Respect yourself and don’t accept anything less from a potential partner.

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