As a former prayer team leader for my current church here in Atlanta, GA, I used to witness some of my team members attending pre-service prayer and actually praying about their relationships. However, when they left, they would fall right back into the cycles they had prayed so desperately to break. This led to counseling sessions as well.
Maybe the way to break the cycle was to stop becoming overly intimate with a person they were not really interested in, or even to stop talking to that one person.
Can you relate? I have noticed that even in my own personal life, there are counterfeits all around us. And we have to develop the discipline not to allow our loneliness to cloud our vision and to pray for boldness to walk away.
Reading this, you may be asking yourself, “How do I know that the person I finally end up with really is the one, Damien? Am I equally yoked with the person who I’m currently dating (or better yet, courting)?”
If you are not familiar with the term “equally yoked,” it is derived from the farming industry, in which the farmer would place a wooden crosspiece over the neck of two animals, such as oxen. This crosspiece would be connected to a plow, which would help till the ground—so long as the yoked animals were compatible, being similar and moving in the same direction.
Likewise, in relationships, it is smart to date or court a person who has the same beliefs as you. Otherwise, you will be pulling each other in opposite directions, causing unnecessary stress to the relationship.
“But Damien, how do we really know?” Well, what if I told you that in our newest book, #CompletelySingle, we provide ten questions you can ask yourself as a measurement to see where you are in your relationship. For the purpose of this article, we have provided you with five:
If the person with whom you are in a relationship starts to see that you are being clingy, does he or she enjoy it, or try to draw your attention and focus toward God instead?
Have you seen yourself sinning more toward God now than before your relationship started? Take counsel from a spiritually mature couple to help determine this, and put a pause to the relationship if needed.
How often does the person with whom you are in a relationship initiate spiritual things—prayer, devotion, Bible study, godly conversation, and witnessing to other believers? When you initiate these godly things, what is the other person’s attitude or response?
Are there areas in your life in which you know you could not have grown without the spiritual advice of the other person in your relationship? Is this person helping you to grow?
Ask four of your closest spiritual friends if they believe your walk with God has improved or declined since being in the relationship.
If these five points resonated with you, then check out #CompletelySingle, a book we’ve loaded with biblical principles to help you further in seeing whether you and the person you’re dating or courting are really compatible. You can read all ten points in the last chapter of the book. Find #CompletelySingle on Amazon as a book or ebook here!
Damien K. H. Nash
About the Author
A college professor once told Damien K. H. Nash that he had some of the worst writing ability she had ever encountered. Nash did not accept this label, and he took her comment as a challenge. Now, seven years later, he is the founder of TNG Publishings, a full-service publishing company, and he has recently completed his sixth book, #CompletelySingle.