8 Signs You're Not Emotionally Ready for a Serious Relationship

8 Signs You’re NOT Emotionally Ready for a Serious Relationship

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Are you emotionally ready for a serious relationship? Your mind might be screaming “of course I’m ready!”, but your heart might be telling you otherwise…

So which is it? How can you truly know if you’re emotionally ready for this level of commitment?

Before we start we must first acknowledge that there is a difference between a relationship and a serious relationship.

You might be ready for a relationship, but not the level of commitment, dedication, and sacrifice a serious relationship requires.

If you notice these things in your own life you’re probably not ready for a serious relationship.

So let’s start our little quiz with this determining factor.

1. You always fall for the wrong man.

It takes two to tango. Many women often find themselves in bad relationships simply because their relationship compass is pointing them to the wrong men.

If you want a serious relationship, then you will need to begin with finding serious relationship material.

Maybe your family and friends have told you he’s a player but you shrug off all warnings.

Maybe you think you can change him. But you’re in for a rude awakening. A person can only change themselves for themselves.

A friend of mine use to always tell me: “Don’t waste your time trying to change someone else when you yourself are a work in progress.”

100% #Facts.

Just go find a man that’s prepared to give you the level of commitment you are looking for.

2. You’re in a relationship just so you won’t be alone.

I’ve seen this far too often in my life. Women that seek or settle into relationships just so they won’t be alone.

This is no reason to be in, or enter a relationship. To truly be ready for a serious relationship you have to find your independence and be able to stand on your own two feet, financially, mentally, and emotionally.

Take time to find what it is that makes you happy and enjoy your life. Once you do this, then you can take the next step of finding someone to share your happiness with.

3. You are looking for someone to save you.

Insecurities, financial problems, the pain of a breakup, the stresses of single parenthood. Whatever the case may be you are looking for someone to save you.

Before you will ever be ready to take on a serious relationship you must first sort out your life, otherwise you’re doomed from the start.

In most cases likes attract likes, and the likelihood is that you will attract someone who’s life is also a mess and looking for a savior.

What results from that is a relationship that will leave you with nothing more than bad memories and heartache.

4. You have a savior complex.

You meet a man, he’s charming, handsome, but you know he’s dysfunctional. You date him anyway, hoping that you can save him from his demons. This is sure to only add drama to your life.

If you meet a man with serious personal issues, try not to play the role of his savior.

Until you stop trying to save dysfunctional men from their bad habits you won’t be ready to enter a serious relationship.

5. You are looking for a man to complete you.

Although it sounds romantic, entering into a relationship in hopes that someone will complete you doesn’t work.

You might have seen it in the movies but in real life looking for a man to complete you is a recipe for disaster.

An incomplete person can only produce an incomplete relationship.

Instead the man you enter into a relationship with should complement and enhance what you bring to the table.

6. You’re carrying emotional baggage from your previous relationships.

The pain of your previous relationships might be still weighing on you. Regret, heartbreak, and emotional scars. Don’t offload them on another person.

Many people coming out of a relationship, especially a long term relationship will try to remove their ex from their mind by immediately jumping into a relationship with someone new.

This usually doesn’t work. The new relationship tends to suffer due to this emotional baggage. Give yourself time to heal and analyze what went wrong in the previous relationship.

7. You are changing yourself to attract men.

Trying to be someone you’re not to attract men is never a good idea. Just be natural. If you have a hard time being your true self you’re definitely not ready for a serious relationship.

Don’t pretend to enjoy hobbies that you don’t. Don’t change your style of dress. Don’t alter you’re opinions.

Just be you. If that’s not good enough for a prospective partner then he’s obviously not the one.

8. You are constantly in search of love.

If you are constantly in search of love you likely will never find it.

Go to social events to socialize. Go to nightclubs to dance and hang out with friends. Stop the constant search for the man of your dreams.

True love has a way of finding you when you least expect it.


If you recognize these signs in yourself it might be time to slow down a bit and ease into taking your current relationship to the next level. And if you’re single, try to rid yourself of these things before uniting with a new man… You’ll both be glad you did.

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