Posted by Erica James in Black Love Advice
Like eating or drinking, sleep is something everybody does.
People have their own distinct way of hitting the hay. Some people favor sleeping on their right or left side. Then you have people who sleep on their back. Others will sleep on their belly. If you’re like me, then you’re going to be dabbling in a little bit of all those positions in a fit before the night is over.
As it turns out, how you sleep in the bed at night may have a lot more to say about your personality than most people realize. It also speaks volumes about your relationship too. A new website called LittleThings.com published an interesting article about this subject that I thought made a lot of sense.
There have been a ton of books written about the impact of sleep and how you pose your body when you do it. According to a renowned body language expert named Patti Wood, people can give off certain signs in their sleep that will signal how they currently feel about their relationship.
Patti Wood is the author of an interesting book called “Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language.” Her theories have been agreed with by other authors on this subject as well as psychologists who conduct studies on sleep.
Here’s what they say your sleeping position reveals about your relationship.
The Spoon: According to a study done by relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, the position is only adopted by a fifth (or 18 percent) of couples and demonstrates a dynamic in which “one partner takes a protective stance over the other.”
Although it’s a sweet, it can also be a little saucy. “It’s a very vulnerable position that’s sexual, but says, ‘I trust you,'” says Patti Wood.
The Loose Spoon: New couples tend to have the most physical contact in bed, but once the relationship matures, the novelty of sharing a mattress wears off.
The loose spoon is typically what couples who are a fans of spooning eventually do, once their relationship matures and each individual wants to revert to a position that produces the best quality sleep, says Paul Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing.
It’s like the big spoon saying, “I’ve got your back; you can count on me,” but it’s not as sexual as spooning closer, Woods said.
The Chase: This is like spooning, but it’s when one person is in pursuit of the other. One person has drifted to the other side of the bed, and the other one is “chasing” them.
This can mean two things: One, that the person who’s being chased wants to be pursued, or is playing hard to get. Or, two, it’s “illegal spooning”: the person retreated because they want space, says Samuel Dunkell, author of Sleep Positions: The Night Language of the Body.
The Tangle: This extremely intimate position is even more rare than the Spoon. It tends to happen when there’s either intense emotions at play (like after lovemaking), or at the start of a romantic relationship.
Some couples maintain it throughout their relationship but it isn’t necessarily a good thing. According to Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a psychotherapist, “[the couple] could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart.”
The Unraveling Knot: This position starts with The Tangle position, but then unravels after 10 minutes or so.
Believe it or not, this position is a sign of a stronger relationship than The Tangle. Yet, only eight percent of couples adopt this two-part position. Dr. Sweet said it’s “a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds.”
The Liberty Lovers: If you and your partner sleep facing opposite directions with space in-between, don’t fret. This is actually a good thing.
According to a study by relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, couples that sleep back-to-back without touching are “connected and secure in themselves. This position shows both closeness and independence in the relationship.”
It’s also popular: 27 percent of couples prefer this sleeping style.
The Nuzzle: This sweet position, in which one partner rests their head on the other’s chest while their legs are intertwined, is often seen in early relationships and occasionally rekindled ones, says Dr. Sweet.
This is a very nurturing posture that creates a sense of protection. Shirley Glass, a psychologist and martial therapist, also notes, “There’s a high level of trust here,” as this snuggling position has a “strengthening sense of comradeship and protection.”
The Space Hog: If a partner takes the “starfish position,” one in which they sprawl out and hog the bed, this means they tend to be selfish, especially if they begin to push the other partner so they’re hanging off the bed. If this is happening in your relationship, it’s time to have an honest conversation.
“One partner dominates the space, while the other takes a secondary role,” says Sweet. And most people don’t want to play second fiddle.
You can also tell who’s dominating a relationship by where their heads are when they sleep.
When a couple’s heads are right next to each other, it means they’re equal. And if they touch, even better — it’s a sign they have like-minds and know what’s going on in each other’s heads, Wood says.
What do you think? Do you believe that sleeping position can reveal subtle details about your relationship? Let us know in the comments!