6 Signs It's Still Too Soon to Start Dating After a Breakup

6 Signs It’s Still Too Soon to Start Dating After a Breakup

Posted by in Black Love Advice

After the end of a relationship, there are three scenarios likely to happen.

First, some people swear they will never date again. According to them, they’ve had enough and are better off without a man in their lives.

Others, on the other hand, begin to feel like they can’t live without a relationship and will throw themselves into the arms of any man who shows them the slightest hint of interest.

However, those two scenarios are extreme cases.

For most people, the healing process is a bit depressing and takes time. It’s full of regret, hurt, and disappointment. It demands that we stay away from dating and take time to find ourselves before jumping back into the market.

If you fall into this category this article is for you. So how much time is too much or too little? Follow these indicators to reveal the truth.

1. Your ex is still on your mind.

Many women that are just exiting a relationship will spend a lot of time talking about or thinking about their ex.

If this sounds like you, then it is clear that you are not yet over him and thus might not be ready to start dating again.

Plain and simple: If you catch yourself longing for your ex or fantasizing about him, then you aren’t ready to start dating. Take time to fully heal before you seek a new relationship.

2. You still compare other men to him.

If you are still matching other men up to your ex then you are clearly not ready to start dating again.

Such a mindset will block you from fully committing to a new man. You need a bit more time to get over him.

How To Cope With A Break Up? Start By NOT Doing These 7 Things

3. You are still angry.

Feeling angry after a breakup is normal but the anger should eventually subside.

Dwelling on the past and harboring anger and resentment will make it nearly impossible for you to move forward and establish a healthy dating life.

Entering into a relationship with that type of burden on your shoulders will negatively impact your happiness and the relationship.

4. You’re stereotyping.

Your ex might have hurt you bad, in fact, I’m sure he did. But that doesn’t mean all men are dogs or approach you with bad intentions.

All men are not the same and there is a great man out there that God intended for you. Just look at your ex and the other bad man that you have been involved with as preparation for what was purposely created for you.

It is hard to know what joy is without experiencing a pain.

5. You’re still blaming yourself.

The relationship is over, but you are still searching for what you did wrong. You internally tell yourself, “if I had only did this or that, things would be different”.

This mental blame game is a clear indicator that you aren’t ready to start dating again. You are still holding onto, and essentially living in the past.

You need more time before you start dating.

6. You fear being alone.

Fear of being single is one of the worst reasons to start dating. In my book Secrets Revealed: The Uncut Truth That Will Change Your Love Life Forever, I uncovered research that showed that women who fear being alone usually end up in bad relationships. Here’s a quote from the book:

Don’t stress yourself out about finding a man. Women who worry about finding a partner can start lowering their standards without even knowing it, as indicated by psychologists at the University of Toronto. High scores on a “Fear of Being Single” questionnaire accurately predicted women choosing bad partners and staying in bad relationships.

If you are out there searching for a mate just so you won’t be alone then you are setting yourself up for failure.

Desperation will not lead you to your destination.


Being single is not a curse ladies. Take time to build yourself up before you enter the dating world. By giving yourself time to fully heal and clear your mind you set yourself up with the best possible opportunity to find true love.

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