(This article was written by Selina Almodovar and originally appeared on EliteDaily.com)
I’m going to be completely honest and let you in on whether or not it’s healthy for you to have an on again, off again relationship.
Not only am I going to give you the lowdown on this, I’m also going to give you a few things to consider when this situation occurs. So if you’re experiencing this first hand, or if you know someone who is, then sit back and take notes.
I’ll get straight to the point: If you’re dating someone and he or she constantly messes up, never improves and never changes his or her ways (even though he or she stressed time and time again that he or she would), then yes, you are in an unhealthy relationship.
At the end of the day, when it comes to this kind of relationship, you have to be real with yourself and consider the following:
Why do you continue to go back to this person?
“Because I love him/her” becomes rather obsolete after the first couple of breakups, so you shouldn’t rest your future choices on this excuse.
I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” This basically states that if you haven’t learned from your mistakes the first time, then you never will.
I just discovered a third part of this saying, which is, “Fool me three times, I’m just foolish.”
There comes a point in your relationship where you actually are fully aware that the choice you’re making is not necessarily the right one. And yet you continue to make it and experience the aftermath.
This is something that cannot be explained logically. You make the decision because of the feeling you get when you’re with this person. Because you cannot imagine feeling that feeling without him or her.
In the end, it all boils down to this one question:
Do you love yourself?
Do you love yourself enough to believe there is a better relationship out there for you? Do you love yourself enough to pull yourself away from an unhealthy environment?
Do you love yourself enough to give yourself the love and respect you deserve to have? Most importantly, do you love yourself more than you love him?
The on/off relationship is an unhealthy setting because there is no growth towards anything (deeper love, deeper trust, taking the next step in your relationship, growing yourself to be better, etc.).
I mean, think about it: When was the last time you actually gained anything good from taking your partner back?
The best thing for you to do at this point is to end the relationship, once and for all.
Remember, if you continue to find reasons to separate from this person, then why do you find reasons to take him or her back?
This often happens because women don’t realize they are worthy of receiving something better. Instead, they tend to “settle” on what is and think this kind of treatment is all they are worth having. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Strongly consider the other options you have when you’re faced with a yo-yo relationship. One of those options is you might actually live a better life without this person; the other option is you might actually find someone better.
Do not allow your emotions to lead you down a road you’re going to regret later on. Whatever decision you choose to make, make sure the result of that choice is going to bring you peace and love in your life.
Anything outside of that is no good; it’s a complete waste of your time.