Question: Is it okay if I tell him I love him first?

Question: Is it okay if I tell him I love him first?

Posted by in Black Love Advice, User polls

Hey, I have a question.

Lately, I have felt emotions towards my man that I have never felt before. I look at him and I know what he’s thinking, I can even tell how he feels without him even saying it.

He and I have been spending a lot of time together recently, and he even blew off a big guy’s weekend out to be with me for the entire weekend just eating junk food and watching movies. He still gives me butterflies when we are together, but lately, it’s been more than that.

Whenever I’m in his arms, I feel such warmth, such a comfort that I’ve never felt with anyone else. He makes me feel like I can do no wrong; like I can conquer anything–like I am important. We have been dating for over a year, and every day I feel myself caring more and more about him.

Everything has been going great… However, even though we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and we’ve had a magical year he has never said the “L word”. Yes, you heard correctly, he hasn’t once told me he loves me! I mean, I think he loves me. He’s just never said it and I don’t know why.

Should I tell him I love him first? Will this ruin things? Am I making a mistake?

Question answered By staff writer Jason Hill.

Hey, Jason here. Let me start off by saying this is kind of a complicated scenario to be in when you’re dating someone that you really care about.

The one thing that puzzles me about your situation is how a man can be putting that much effort into romantically spending time with you, over the course of a year and not fully express how he feels about you.

Sure, we all know the saying about actions speaking louder than words. And in fact, some men do feel like if they’re showing a woman that they love her, then they don’t have to necessarily say it.

That’s not true.

Words might not speak louder than actions, but words definitely do confirm them. It’s great for a woman to have a man who shows her on a regular basis that he loves her.

That’s number 1. But a man should also be able to verbally express how much he loves you.

Which brings me to my conclusion.

You shouldn’t tell him you love him first. As a man, he should take the initiative.

The issue I believe is that you are currently having doubts about how he truly feels about the relationship due to his lack of verbally expressing his love for you.

I suggest that you pull him to the side and let him know that your feelings for him are growing increasingly more serious. Talk to him about where you want to go with the relationship. Ask him where he’s at with his feelings for you.

Take the time to get to know what his true intentions are. This will help reveal if you are indeed in a one-sided relationship.

After a year of being together and sharing all these meaningful moments, you shouldn’t be in the dark about his true feelings and intentions.

It’s time for him to verbally express his love for you. A woman should never have to do that first.

On that note, I’ll pass it to our readers.

What do you think she should do? Answer our poll and share your thoughts in the comments below.

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