Hey, BlackLoveAdvice.com! Thanks for inviting me to your Facebook page!
I am sending you this message because I was in a situation about a week ago, and it has me feeling some type of way.
I met a guy almost a month ago, and we hit it off pretty fast. Anyway, I did not pursue him. He pursued me. Mind you, I have not been in a relationship with anyone for eight years since my ex-husband.
This guy was a dream come true to me.
I was sick one particular day, he called me on the phone and prayed for me. Let me reiterate, he pursued me. He was the first man that I allowed to even come close enough to me to consider having a relationship with me.
We both agreed that we were going to take things slow, and we both wanted our relationship to be Christ centered. We both decided that we were going to stay celibate. He has a small business and was getting discouraged because it wasn’t flourishing like he wanted. I did everything possible to encourage him and I also would pray with him. During this time, we never kissed, and we gave each other “church” hugs. Our conversations were amazing! We could talk for hours on end.
I am a very observant person… So, about a week ago, I noticed that he was being distant. So, of course I was concerned. I sent him a message via Facebook and asked if he was okay. He saw my message but didn’t respond. So, I called him. He didn’t answer but sent me a text message telling me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. *Blank stare* So, I told him that we were not going to discuss this over the phone.
We met up later that day and I told him that I thought we were in a good place. He said that we were, but he was not ready for what we were doing… Well to me we weren’t doing anything!
Needless to say, I left there more confused than what I was when I got there. I was saying to myself, “I waited eight years for this? Really? Is it me? What’s wrong with me?”
Should I feel this way? I mean, he pursued me and now he’s not ready. Did I do something wrong?
Question answered By BlackLoveAdvice.com staff writer Jason Hill.
That’s definitely a tough one… I think he could possibly be experiencing a bit of financial pressure due to his small business not flourishing as he expected it to. A business also takes a lot of time and energy. So he might feel that dating is taking away focus and energy from his business.
It also could be that he’s not ready to be celibate (or never really wanted to be celibate in the first place). In this scenario, he either found out that he wasn’t down with being celibate, or realized that no matter how hard he tried his usual moves weren’t gonna get him the goodies lol.
In the end, I don’t think you did anything wrong. I think his distance has more to do with his personal issues than you.
However, I must warn you to not let him string you along. A lot of times in these situations guys like to dip in and out of women’s lives fulfilling their owns needs but not fulfilling the woman’s.
Don’t accept that. Move on and find a man that is ready to be with you on your terms.
I hope this helped.
On that note, I’ll pass it to our readers.
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