Question: I met a new man but my ex won't give me a divorce. What should I do?

Question: I met a new man but my ex won’t give me a divorce. What should I do?

Posted by in Black Love Advice, User polls

Hi, writers and staff. I have a question.

I have been separated from my ex husband since February of 2013. We are finally going to court for our divorce on August 8th (he doesn’t know yet). I tried 5 times without a lawyer to present him with papers and file together and be cordial and that has not gone well.

A few times he got mad and didn’t get our daughter for months and wouldn’t answer phone calls or texts. Mind you since we have been separated he has a new girlfriend and 2 kids with her!

I have met several men that seem to be good men. Recently one in particular is practically everything I have asked for in a black man. He has his guard up because his ex wife and the mother of his child both cheated on him so he doesn’t want to get hurt and I sense that. Plus I’m still legally married which is a huge obstacle. I really really like this man and we have such a strong mental and spiritual connection. He also is very attractive. He has his own car, place and has a good job and is mature and has his head on straight. He’s not interested in just trying to have sex and move forward he wants to build something real the same way I do.

My Question is, I would like to walk into the courtroom on August 8th married and walk out divorced but I haven’t had much success so far.

I’m not the aggressive type. I’m the cordial lets talk and get things together and move on type.  I just want to get this one thing out of the way so I can move forward fully in my love life. It’s such a hurdle.

I also don’t have money to pay my lawyer thousands more. I’d like this to be the last time I pay her for anything.

Do you think I should talk to my ex for the millionth time and try to come to an agreement and convince him to show up in court so we can end it? The past times never went well. Or, do you think I should just continue to pray on it and hope for the best?

By the way, I haven’t told him that I have a lawyer and filed again. He doesn’t know. The last time I got paperwork together was October of 2015 and I did it without a lawyer and he didn’t see our daughter until her birthday on March 14th because of this. That’s not fair to her and I don’t want that to happen again.

Question answered by writer Jason Hill.

First off I would like to say this… Your ex not seeing his child for months on end because of the dissolution of your relationship is childish, pathetic, and quite disgusting.

“Talking it out” with a person that has a mindset to think that such actions are acceptable is probably impossible.

I think you should pray on it, you can try talking to him but it seems that the only solution will be allowing the courts to mitigate the situation.

I really hate to hear that you and your daughter are going through such a situation.

Both of you are in all of our prayers here at

I hope this helped.

You can contact us anytime at

Now I’ll pass it to our readers to get their take on the situation.

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