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Tired of the #SingleLife: When Will I FINALLY Find "THE ONE"?

Tired of the #SingleLife: When Will I FINALLY Find “THE ONE”?

Posted by in Black Love Advice

When will I find the one? A question nearly all single woman ask themselves from time to time…

“When will I finally find the RIGHT one?”

The question pops in your mind randomly out of nowhere… And if you have no children and you’re 30 or older… It pops up rather frequently… Or might I say urgently!

This my sisters is the counterpart of the “mid-life crisis” in which I would like to coin the term as the “Single-Life crisis”.

This may seem a bit far-fetched but if you give me a chance you will understand where I’m coming from.

For most of us ladies after being unattached for a prolonged period of time we typically begin to let the single life affect and influence our behavior in a way that unknowingly hinders the chances of us finding the right man to share our lives with.

The single-life crisis is something that can cause a woman to either reject love or crave the idea of romantic love so badly that she ends up in the wrong relationship.

Let me hit those two points again for emphasis.

A woman who is in the midst of the single-life crisis tends to either:

  1. Construct a counterintuitive mental framework and an invisible social wall of “I don’t need a man!” Leading them to subconsciously “reject” all potential suitors. Or…
  2. Overly commit and become available to any man, no matter the quality, in the hopes of finding true love.

There might be some more to add to this but for the sake of my ADHD, we will stick to the two most common behavioral traits of women going through a single-life crisis and how to resolve them.

To ward off these negative side effects of being single for a prolonged period of time you must do something that is typically very difficult for a person in this situation to do… You must find the middle ground…

What’s the middle ground?

The middle ground is a blissful state of acceptance…

But why would finding this middle ground be so difficult?

Because “acceptance” tends to be equated as accepting that you might spend the rest of your life alone… And that tends to lead you right back to where you started:

Either too defensive to accept love… Or too eager to find it.

However, this is not what acceptance should mean.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re “accepting” that you are single or are going to be single for the rest of your life.

Acceptance should be looked upon as accepting the fact that you won’t settle for less. That you have confidence in your relationship goals, and that you are letting your faith guide you to the one in which whom you can share your love, life, and dreams with, along with accepting all the other positive friendships that come your way.

Again, don’t close yourself off to love, and don’t settle for less for the sake of being someone’s “Boo”.

Reject negative thoughts that promote negative behavior. The thing a single woman should crave above all is the requirement of loving herself… And the funny thing about that is… Once you begin to truly love and accept yourself… You tend to ultimately realize that YOU ARE THE ONE!

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