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7 Reasons Relationships Fail (Even When the Person Is the One)

7 Reasons Relationships Fail (Even When the Person Is the One)

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Love comes with ups and downs. One minute we are in the happiest relationship we’ve ever been in. We know we’ve finally found the one this time, we are happy and feel like this feeling will never end.

Then it happens as abruptly as it began.

We start to drift apart, arguments begin to happen more frequently, then the relationship is over. At that very moment, we might be happy with the breakup.

But as time goes on and the initial anger fades away we begin to feel hurt, confused, empty.

In fact, when we look back, we feel like we might have lost the love of our lives and we suspect that the other person feels the same.

So why do relationships fail even when two people seem like they were meant to be together? Or better yet, why do relationships fail even when we KNOW we’ve found the one?

Let’s start this list with one of the most common reasons…

1. The inability to say “I’m sorry.”

This is one of the top reasons relationships fail. Often, people are just simply stubborn when they are wrong. And that goes for both men and women.

So much negativity and damage to our relationships can be avoided if we learn the ability to accept and admit when we are wrong and apologize.

Instead, what we often do is let our egos get in the way. We point the finger and blame each other. We don’t accept responsibility for the things we’ve done wrong, and we try to find an angle to make it the other person’s fault.

Most of the time couples get past these arguments in the short term, but the anger of unresolved problems can linger. Leading to future arguments where the personal goal of WINNING is more important than resolving the dispute fairly.

Eventually, the relationship becomes too stressful, and one or both partners decides it would be better to break up than continually deal with the drama.

And to think, it could have been avoided if one or both partners just said “I’m sorry” and moved on.

2. Distance.

Sometimes it’s work, school, the military, or maybe even meeting online that keeps a couple apart.

However, one thing seems to hold true; long distance relationships seem to never work out even when the couple is in love and perfect for each other.

In fact, statistics show that 40% of long distance relationships fail and the number is even higher at 70% when the changes in distance weren’t planned.

But, as you can see from the statistics above that many long distance relationships do work out.

What we’ve come to find is that the long distance relationships that don’t end in breakups follow a few simple rules. You can click here to see what they are.

3. One or both partners stops trying.

Unequal sacrifice, not showing appreciation, no longer going on dates and doing nice things for each other all fall under this category.

As the saying goes: Continue to do what you did in the beginning if you want to keep her. (I said her because fellas we have this bad, even though the ladies are guilty of this from time to time.)

Sadly, couples often stop putting in the effort as time goes on. They typically fall into a set of routines once their relationship grows past the honeymoon phase and they get comfortable in the relationship.

At some point dissatisfaction creeps in, arguments start, and things can spin out of control.

To stop this from happening to your relationship you have to remember that relationships go through 8 different stages, and you have to nurture the relationship differently through each stage.

At the end of the day, you should never stop putting in the effort in any aspect of your relationship if you want things to work out.

4. They call it quits when things get difficult and never reconcile.

Sadly, a lot of people that would be perfect for one another call it quits way too soon.

Remember just a few moments ago when I said relationships go through stages? Well, one of those stages is the “Power Struggle Phase.”

This is the phase of the relationship where we have passed the initial phase of falling in love, and we begin to have real arguments and disagreements.

The arguments are often intense, but for most relationships, this is only temporary; unfortunately, this is where most couples breakup.

They begin to feel like maybe they aren’t as in love as they thought they were because of all of the recent fights and disagreements.

But really it’s just a natural part of relationships.

After being so head over heels in love, and frequently putting your feelings aside for your partner at the beginning of the relationship, each person in the relationship begins to re-establish their individuality and set boundaries.

Eventually, it passes, and you’ll find a new level of happiness IF you don’t breakup because your relationship has hit a temporary rough patch.

5. Too physical, too fast.

Having sex too early can ruin a relationship before it even gets started.

When two people connect on a deeper level and have an initial spark of intense chemistry, it can be hard to resist the urge to be intimate.

Don’t do it.

Having sex too early will only complicate the relationship and change the primary focus from building a bond and getting to know each other on a deeper, more emotional and intellectual level, to getting to know each other on a purely physical level.

This will create a relationship that’s built on a weak foundation.

6. Pressure from friends and family.

Whether it’s your friends and family saying you’re moving too fast, or that they don’t like your new man. Or his friends saying he’s too young to be tied down, and he should enjoy the single life. Either or both partners give in to outside pressures to pump the brakes on the relationship.

This is one of the worst, and most avoidable reasons relationships fail.

As a couple, you should never let outsiders dictate your happiness.

Like I said in my last article “7 Relationship Goals All Happy Couples accomplish.”

Haters are gonna hate, and somebody is always gonna have something to say about somebody else’s relationship when 99% of the time their own relationship and love life is a disaster.

As a couple, you have to make it one of your relationship goals to say f*ck the haters.

7. Unrealistic expectations.

Real life is never like the movies. No man is perfect, no woman is perfect, but we can be perfect for each other if we allow ourselves to accept the other person’s flaws.

Far too many great relationships fall apart because one partner won’t stop searching for perfection.

You have to realize that any person you meet will have flaws and things about them that annoy you if you spend enough time with them.

As long as it’s not a major issue, and you’re not lowering your standards for the sake of being in a relationship you should practice acceptance when it comes to your partner’s minor shortcomings.

That’s what real love is all about.

Conclusion

These are a few of the top reasons relationships fail even when the person is the one. Gladly, all of the things on this list are avoidable.

If you feel like you’ve found the love of your life, do yourself a favor and avoid the mistakes on this list. Nurture your relationship, build a strong foundation, and give your relationship time to grow into what it is meant to be.

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