Breakups are one of the hardest things to overcome.
The act of being heavily involved in someone else’s life and vice versa can be the most addictive element in a relationship outside of sex.
To be honest, there is a withdrawal stage in our mourning of a failed relationship that triggers us to want to see, call or give in to our previous lover in ways that can be both positive and negative.
Depending on the length of the relationship, there can be some residue left behind once the pain has cleared, especially if the relationship was abusive or unhealthy in other ways.
One thing you don’t want to do is carry baggage from your previous relationship into a new relationship. Or, end up in the same type of abusive or unsatisfying relationship again.
So what are the signs that you are ready to start dating again?
Here are a few that are simply undeniable…
1. Acknowledging your mistakes in past relationships.
This is a crucial element that indicates that you have fully healed from your previous relationship.
By acknowledging and learning from your mistakes in your previous relationship not only do you make it easier for your next lover to love you. But you also lay the foundation that will prevent you from making the same mistakes in your new relationship.
The awareness of your role in the failure of your past attempts at love is a critical building block to establishing healthy relationships in the future.
However, knowing is only half the battle.
Which brings me to the second sign that you are ready to start dating again…
2. You are fully willing to apply what you have learned in your past relationship to a new relationship.
Application of the lessons learned from past relationship failures is the most overlooked factor in knowing when you are ready to start dating again only because we are quick to think, “We got it!”
When in reality, we don’t…
Knowing how to apply the lessons we learned from our mistakes in previous relationships makes it a lot easier to identify what it is we are looking for when we are searching for a mate.
It also keeps history from repeating itself. So many women end up in cycles of abusive, cheating, or manipulative relationships because even though they realize the mistakes they made in choosing their past lovers they aren’t fully able to apply them.
Before you start dating again sit down with a pen and paper and write down all the mistakes, you made in your past relationship or relationships. Both inside of the relationship and in choosing the type of mate you chose.
Then vow to yourself to never make those mistakes again and stay mindful of those things when you do enter the dating world again.
3. You have a clear picture of what you desire out of a mate.
Returning back to dating is already complicated as it is, but it can be even more challenging if you do it without knowing what it is that you want from a mate.
This means also knowing what areas you are willing to allow to be gray (areas you are willing to work with) so that there is some flexibility to your expectations.
Making sure this is embedded within can increase your chances of finding someone who is not going to waste your time, but it also allows you to have genuine fun in the process of getting to know the people you meet on the dating scene.
Which leads me to my next point…
4. You are ready to start meeting people with no pre-conceived judgments.
You have to really be willing to get to know the men you meet as individuals with clean slates before you are truly ready to start dating again.
We can’t punish or apply transgressions onto someone new just because someone has done us wrong in the past.
This is difficult to do I know, especially when we’ve been through what seems like a never-ending cycle of bad relationships.
However, it’s 100% necessary if you want to start dating again and actually allow yourself the opportunity to find someone that is truly deserving of your love.
Which brings us to the final item on the signs that you are ready to start dating again list.
5. You have forgiven and moved on from the past wrongs of previous lovers.
If you have not forgiven the person or persons that have caused you some form of pain, then it is definitely not “okay” for you to move on and it does not matter what your girlfriends or hormones say.
Forgiveness is always a peaceful closing to any bad relationship.
It will allow you to invite new people and relationships in your life without pre-conceived notions or burdens.
If you can do that, you are officially ready to start dating again.
Knowing when you’re really ready to get out there and start meeting people again can be hard to do. However, these signs that you are ready to start dating again are reliable indicators.
If you notice that you didn’t pass a few don’t be afraid to give yourself more time to heal.
Only once you have recovered 100% from the bad experiences of the past can you truly be able to accept real love in your life!