Are you and your boyfriend truly compatible?
How can you know for sure?
Well, thankfully it’s not very hard to figure out if you and your man are truly compatible.
You just have to know the right questions to ask each other.
That’s why we created this compatibility test.
Beyond just helping you strengthen your bond with your boyfriend. It will also give you the insight needed to not make the same mistakes that so many couples before you have made.
This compatibility test will provide you with all of the questions couples should ask each other before getting married, moving in together, or having children.
And if you have already done those things and are having second thoughts, after asking each other these questions your future together will be clear.
This is undoubtedly essential reading for all couples no matter what stage of their relationship they are in.
Here are the top 6 things these questions for couples will do for its readers:
- Give you a better understanding of what it is you and your boyfriend both actually want in a spouse.
- Give you in-depth knowledge about how your boyfriend truly feels about your relationship.
- Reassure you that the person that you are dating is the right one and that you’re not wasting your time.
- It will make the bond that you and your boyfriend share stronger.
- If your relationship is rocky and full of arguments, it will let you know if it’s just a rough patch or if you should breakup.
- It will let you know if you have truly found your “soulmate.”
And that’s only a small amount of what this article will do for you and your relationship.
So you and your man have a seat, grab a couple of glasses of wine and let’s get started!
1) Personality and Feelings
Having a deep and meaningful understanding of your partner’s personality and their feelings on a range of different topics and circumstances is a big key to relationship success.
The following 60 questions for couples were designed to give you the type of insight into each other’s personality and temperament that is needed to achieve a lasting relationship with as few arguments, disagreements, and misunderstandings as possible.
Let’s start with this question…
1. What personality traits do I possess that remind you of anyone from your past, either past loves or good friends?
2. In your opinion what are my talents? Do you think you have any of the same talents?
3. How many physical fights have you been in? Did you start the altercation?
4. What is your biggest fear? How does that fear keep you from doing things you would like to do?
5. Are you perky in the morning or are you a grouch?
6. How often do you think your gut feeling is correct? Can you remember a time that it was incorrect?
7. What one skill do you wish you had learned but haven’t yet?
8. What kind of reaction do you have when you get extremely upset?
9. Is it ever appropriate for someone to express anger in a physical way? If so when and how?
10. How do you typically handle the trauma from a significant loss, whether it is from the death of a loved one, getting fired or some other big disappointment?
11. What is your typical reaction when someone criticizes you?
12. What things are you most selfish about?
13. Do you think that you can calmly and wisely react in an emergency situation? What are some examples of emergencies you have had?
14. Do you have a recurring dream? What is it about?
15. What emotion do you have the most difficulty controlling?
16. What emotion do you have the most difficulty expressing?
17. Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or gifts that come from the heart?
18. On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate the way I handle crisis situations?
19. If you could choose to know everything about one topic, what would that topic be?
20. How would someone be able to tell if you’re happy or if you’re sad?
21. If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? If you could take out three things before the fire started, what would they be? (Assuming all your loved ones are out of the house before the fire starts)
22. Does any particular season make you happier than others? If so, do you know why?
23. When you are sick, do you like to be alone or do you like to be taken care of?
24. What is the most thoughtful and caring thing you have ever done for someone else?
25. If you had to be a different nationality, what country would you like to have been born in? Why?
26. If you were given $50,000 to throw a party for all of your friends, what kind of party would you throw?
27. Are you a morning person or a night person?
28. Do you think you would prefer a calm and consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement and adventure but also rocky moments?
29. Do you think you are a typical person in the way you think, act and behave?
30. Do you tend to analyze your decisions before you talk about them or do ideas and thoughts blurt out without much thought?
31. Would you be best described as a peacekeeper or a troublemaker?
32. What type of social gatherings do you prefer – small groups or large parties?
33. Do you like to be the life of the party or do you prefer intimate one-on-one conversation?
34. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Does it change, depending on the crowd?
35. Do you ever lose your temper? How does it show itself?
36. Do you give money to homeless people? Why or why not?
37. Do you currently believe that you are mature and experienced enough to be able to build and maintain a successful marriage? When did you feel you were ready or when do you think you will be there?
38. Which do you believe should have the final say in decision making – logic or emotions? Why?
39. Under what circumstances do you feel most at peace?
40. Men, what do you think is the best thing about being a male? Women, what do you think is the best thing about being a female?
41. What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
42. If your partner had a one-night stand after drinking too much how would you react? Could you forgive him or her?
43. Are you able to keep secrets? Is this a hard thing for you to do?
44. Do you think luck plays a part in your life?
45. Do you find it difficult to compromise on things?
46. Do you have an idol? Do you try to model yourself after him or her in some way?
47. Did you have a point in your life where you turned your life around?
48. How do feel about your spouse reading your private email or text messages?
49. Do you usually ask for help or support, or do you prefer to fail all on your own?
50. If you had massive financial losses and had to sell all of your possessions including your car and home, what would that do to your self-esteem?
51. How do you react when someone close to you disagrees with you?
52. Do you enjoy debating others?
53. What is your greatest disappointment?
54. Which topics do you feel qualified to give advice?
55. What do you think I could do to enjoy my life more?
56. What is a talent that you wish you possessed?
57. Do you write important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries in your calendar? Do you usually remember those dates?
58. Are there any traits I possess that remind you of your father or mother?
59. Do you have a good relationship with your family?
60. Would you say your family is dysfunctional? How?
The purpose of the above questions for couples was to help each spouse support the other and to ensure each partner gets their emotional needs met by the relationship.
Question eight asks, “What kind of reaction do you have when you get extremely upset?”
This is a good thing to know about each other.
If your boyfriend knows ahead of time that you stomp around the house in a confrontational mood when upset and finds that behavior upsetting, he can consider leaving the area for awhile to de-escalate the situation.
This is not to say that couples need to walk on eggshells around each other, but that sometimes we each need our space to have the reaction we are prone to have anyway.
The information that comes up in these discussions may not influence your decision about whether to get married, have children, or move in together.
Those may be decisions that you have already made before asking these questions for couples.
However, the information that you share with each other can help you learn how to avoid repetitive disputes that are never resolved.
As the saying goes: Forewarned is forearmed.
We have to be prepared to let our spouses be who they are, even if they don’t react the way we would want them to in every situation.
When you’re in a committed relationship knowing your partner’s favorite things can go a long way in helping you pick gifts, plan dates, and determine your compatibility.
Ready to discover something new about each other? This section is sure to uncover it.
Let’s get to the questions.
1. Who is your favorite musical artist or group?
2. What is your favorite fast-food restaurant? How often do you eat there?
3. What’s your favorite special occasion restaurant?
4. Do you have a favorite movie?
5. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?
6. What meal would you eat most often if you could?
7. What is your favorite snack food?
8. Do you have a favorite and least favorite day of the week? Why do you feel that way?
9. What is your favorite time of day?
10. What’s your favorite candy bar?
11. Who’s your favorite actor?
12. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
13. What’s your favorite Pick-me-up after a stressful day?
14. What’s your favorite high school memory?
15. What’s your favorite holiday?
A couple may not have the same favorites when it comes to food, music, activities or any number of things.
In fact, it would be rare to find a couple who did have the same favorite things across the board.
What fun would that be anyway?
Couples are made up of two people with two separate backgrounds, upbringings, and life stories.
So it’s not about having the exact same interest, it’s about understanding the wants and needs of one another and trying to make each other happy.
Knowledge about your partner’s favorites is the power to support their desires and provide the ultimate gift of understanding and acceptance.
Knowing your partner’s pet preferences is a big deal, especially if you plan on living together at some point.
Shockingly, many couples never discuss this until the moment that someone walks in the house with a puppy lol.
Don’t let that be how your relationship goes.
Owning animals is something that is near and dear to a pet lovers heart. In fact, it actually boosts their happiness and quality of life.
So one partner loving pets and the other partner not liking pets can cause a lot of friction in relationships.
The following questions will cover pet preferences, pet care and other aspects of pet ownership.
Let’s get started.
1. If you could have any pets you wanted and had space, money, and time to properly care for them, what pets would you have?
2. Are you allergic to animals? If your spouse was allergic to your pets, would you be willing to give them away to a good home?
3. Are there any types of pets that you refuse to live with (snakes, rats, etc.)?
4. Do you allow your pets on your furniture?
5. Do you get your pets neutered or do you allow them to keep producing litters? What do you do with the babies?
6. Are there any circumstances where you think it is a good idea to put animals “to sleep”?
7. Do you think that it is cruel to keep a dog in a cage or tied up most of the day?
8. How do you feel about dogs that are bred to attack (Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, etc.)?
9. Do you feel that it’s okay to feed a pet off your dinner plate?
10. Do you take your pets with you on trips and vacations with you? If not what will you do with the pet while away?
11. Do you have a preference for cats or dogs?
12. Who will have the main responsibility of cleaning up after and taking care of the pet?
13. How do you feel about getting dogs professionally groomed?
14. If we purchased a pet and later broke up, who would get to keep the pet?
15. How do you feel about pets sleeping in the bed?
Do you like pets? Does your boyfriend like pets?
Could pet ownership be a deal breaker?
This section was included in these questions for couples because of how strong of an issue this is.
For some people owning pets is a part of their core foundation as a person. But on the other hand, some people are disgusted by the very idea of an animal being inside their home.
Many people are shocked at how much havoc this can cause in a relationship until it happens to them.
Could attitudes this far apart be resolved?
Will you be disgusted when your boyfriend invites the dog to sleep at the foot of your bed or lets the cat eat off of his plate?
Even between these two extremes, there are still many issues that can become contentious.
One of them relates to money.
How much money is okay to spend on pets?
Even a “free” cat from the neighbor’s unexpected litter can cost a good deal of money over its lifetime.
A couple needs to be on the same page when it comes to pet ownership.
It’s an often undiscussed issue that can cause all types of problems in relationships.
4) Attractions and Style Preferences
Let me let you in on a secret… Most people think they already know what their partner finds most attractive…
In most situations, they are wrong.
During the initial stages of a relationship, your partner is attracted to you and everything about you and vice versa.
However, as time goes on couples slowly begin to realize that they don’t like everything about each other.
He doesn’t like the way you dress when you go out, and you don’t like that he insist on getting more tattoos.
This can quickly become a frequent source of arguments and disdain.
Knowing your partner’s attractions and style preferences will not only help avoid petty arguments, but it will also help keep the spark alive in your relationship.
In terms of style, the way you dress for certain occasions, your love of tattoos or the way you wear your hair.
If two people’s opinions are on opposite ends of the spectrum on these things, there might be some serious compatibility issues.
So let’s start with this question about how you would handle it if you didn’t like something about your partner’s style of dress…
1. If you didn’t like your mate’s clothing or hairstyle, would you tell him or her? Would you want your partner to tell you?
2. What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then?
3. Would you want your spouse to talk with you first before they dramatically changed their hairstyle or facial hair?
4. If your partner asked you to shave or not to shave (face, underarms, legs, pubic area) would you do it? What is your preference for significant those areas?
5. What physical or personality trait do you think makes people first attracted to you?
6. Do stylish clothes, fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, etc. make you feel better about yourself?
7. Do you feel like you need to dress sexy? Why or why not? Do you think that people who dress sexy are sending the message that they are interested in sex?
8. If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect spouse change?
9. Do you like the way I dress? What changes could I make that would please you?
10. Which do you think you would rather have: a gorgeous wife/husband who wasn’t very interested in sex or very good in bed. Or an ordinary looking spouse who was amazing in bed?
11. How would you feel if your mate wanted to wear matching outfits or dress like you?
12. Do you fear looking older as you age?
13. What outfit of mine is your favorite? Why is it?
14. How do you feel about plastic surgery and Botox? Would you consider getting any work done?
15. Name one or two minor changes I could make to my appearance that would make me more attractive.
16. Do you find tattoos attractive? How many tattoos are too many?
17. Do you think having tattoos looks unprofessional? Do you think it could hinder a person professionally?
18. Do you think I dress husband or wife like? Why or why not?
19. How would your ideal husband or wife dress? Can you Google a few images of celebrities dressed the way you would want your ideal partner to dress?
These are some critical questions couples should ask, especially before things get too serious.
So many women email our site because their boyfriend or husband says they dress too provocatively… But they were dressed like that when they met them!
It’s frustrating, I know.
But there’s a big difference between what a person finds attractive when they’re courting or simply dating compared to what they find attractive when they’re thinking long-term, children, marriage.
That’s why the last question is so important: “How would your ideal husband or wife dress? Can you Google a few images of celebrities dressed the way you would want your ideal partner to dress?”
Nobody wants to go through this type of drama over style and clothing when in a relationship.
It’s best to determine your compatibility on this matter early to gauge what can be changed, altered, or compromised.
Most of us would be willing to make minor changes to please our partner if the request is made in the right way.
However, some things about our style are a part of who we are as a person, so we are unwilling to change it.
Determine these things early.
The way one partner dresses and the other partners lack of acceptance for it has been at the root of more breakups and divorces than we can count.
5) Health and Fitness
Knowing how your partner approaches his or her health and fitness is a big issue especially if you’re planning on building a future together.
Your partner’s health has long term implications that can affect your finances, happiness, and a host of other things.
Unfortunately, couples tend to not be concerned with each other’s approaches to health and wellness until something goes wrong.
This chapter will keep you from joining that majority.
Here are 20 health and fitness questions couples should ask.
1. What are your feelings about recreational drugs? Have you ever taken any and if so, how long did you use drugs? Do you still use them?
2. What are your feelings on second-hand smoking? Would you let anyone smoke around your children?
3. Have you ever dealt with depression? If so how long did it last and what caused it?
4. Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?
5. Do you smoke tobacco? Do you think tobacco should be banned? If so why?
6. Do you think marijuana should be legalized? If so why?
7. Do you have any special dietary needs?
8. Do you have any phobias, fears, or concerns, about doctors?
9. Do you ever binge drink?
10. Do you get regular medical check-ups?
11. When you drink, do you often have “one too many”?
12. Do you eat when you are bored or stressed?
13. Do you consider yourself a healthy eater?
14. Have you ever done anything stupid or dumb while drunk? Did you learn from the experience?
15. How many alcoholic beverages do you have in a typical week?
16. How much time per week do you spend exercising? Do you consider yourself physically fit?
17. Have you been abused in any way – sexually, emotionally, or physically? Do you still carry emotional scars from it?
18. Are you allergic to anything?
19. Do you take any medications?
20. Do you currently suffer from a sleeping disorder? Have you ever?
Does one partner worry and run to the doctor every time they sneeze? Does the other avoid doctors at all costs?
The questions in this chapter were designed to get you and your partner both thinking about your similarities and differences in your approaches to your health.
The way you answered these questions can have an impact on your heart, blood pressure, weight, and how well you age.
One stark example that comes to mind is the couple in the video below.
Soon after Amos and Annette Larkin got married in the 1960’s she decided to become a vegetarian and later adopted a raw vegan diet…
Now, at over 70 years old she looks like someone almost half her age.
Her husband, on the other hand didn’t change his eating habits and now says he wishes he would have.
Not just because he now has ongoing health issues but because when in public people often don’t believe Annette is his wife
As you can see, the way you both approach your health and fitness has long term implications.
6) Morals and Beliefs
Not having a deep knowing and understanding of your partner’s morals and beliefs is a huge mistake when deciding to commit to the relationship.
A person’s belief system is the very foundation of who they are.
For that reason, I advise you and your boyfriend to really consider how the other answers the following questions.
If you uncover any major differences in your morals and beliefs take a moment to discuss and try to understand each other’s positions.
1. Have you ever been arrested? If so why? Would you do the crime that got you arrested again?
2. Would you like for your organs to be donated when you die? Are you currently an organ donor?
3. What is your position on America’s death penalty laws?
4. How do you feel about pornography?
5. How do you feel about soldiers killing people from other countries? Have you ever been in a war? How did it affect you to have to kill or support people who killed others?
6. Are you an activist for any causes?
7. Do you think you could kill someone if they threatened the lives of your loved ones?
8. Would you be able to date or marry someone who was previously in a lesbian or gay relationship?
9. Is there anyone you would be willing to die for?
10. Would you steal $200,000 if it was guaranteed that you wouldn’t be caught?
11. How would you feel if one of your friends revealed they are gay? Would you still socialize with that person?
12. Are you ever embarrassed by how your race behaves?
13. How do you feel about gambling? How often do you go to casinos?
14. To what extent are you involved in politics? Do you vote?
15. How do you feel about guns in your home?
16. Are there certain types of movies or TV shows that you refuse to watch?
17. Do you feel that a large portion of white people are racist? What experiences have shaped your feelings on racism in America?
18. Do you dislike or distrust any particular racial group?
19. What is your opinion of animal rights activism? What are your feelings on animal cruelty?
20. What emotions (rage, anger, sadness, etc) do you feel shouldn’t be expressed in public?
Did you notice any major differences in your moral and beliefs system?
If so it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.
This is where you should impart understanding and whatever you do don’t try to force your beliefs on each other, that will only lead to a cycle of arguments, disagreements, and both partners feeling as if their opinion isn’t valued in the relationship.
Indeed, a person may believe they are living a moral life then find out their partner sees it totally differently.
Using the ideas these questions present will help you and your partner determine if you have a similar set of values.
Remember, people rarely change in significant ways once they hit a certain age, so it is best to find out early if you can accept your partner the way they are.
7) Religion and Spirituality
Another very deep, if not the deepest part of a person’s belief system is their religious values. So we dedicated a whole segment of questions to the topic.
Knowing your partner’s religious beliefs is an absolute must when deciding to commit to a relationship.
Raising children, weddings, holidays, and even how you spend your weekends will all be directly impacted by your partner’s religious beliefs and how deeply they are into their faith.
These questions will give you a very intimate understanding of where your partner stands religiously.
Pay very close attention to this set of questions.
1. Do you believe in God? What were you raised to believe about religion?
2. Do you think zodiac birth signs represent a person’s character? Why?
3. Do you believe all religions are worshiping God the way he wants us to?
4. Do you believe that people that don’t believe in your religion will go to hell or face some other kind of punishment from God?
5. What has been your most negative experience with your religion or other religions?
6. If you dislike religion, is it because of bad experiences you have had with people or is it because you are unhappy with God?
7. How many times per month do you attend church?
8. How important is religion when deciding to date someone? What religious differences would cause you doubts about a long-term relationship?
9. Do you believe that if you give money to churches or charity that you will be blessed or rewarded?
10. What are your feelings on sex before marriage?
11. Have you seriously studied other religions besides your own?
12. If you say you are a religious person, do you really practice it? Have you studied your religion’s doctrines? In which ways are you not actively following your faith?
13. Would you consider following a different religion if your spouse desired?
14. How many hours per week do you typically devote to your religious practices (e.g. going to church, prayer meetings, bible study, etc.)?
15. Do you believe that people that worship other God’s will go to hell or face some other afterlife punishment?
16. Can you think of anything that might make you want to stop attending church?
17. Could you marry someone who doesn’t believe in God?
18. Do you feel there are evil spirits on earth? Do you fear them?
19. How often do you pray? Why do you pray?
20. If we practice different religions what problems might that cause with our wedding, the way we celebrate holidays, and how we will raise our children?
The previous questions bring forth some vital things a couple must address before committing to a life together.
Can a person who is devout in their religion find happiness with a person who is not?
The partner who isn’t religious would have to decide if they could respect their partner’s religious beliefs and values and the role it plays in their lives as a couple.
On the other hand, the devout religious partner would have to decide if they can be in a relationship with a person that doesn’t take part in their religious services and value system.
Is it possible to make it work?
Only the two people in the relationship can truly answer that question…
8) Past and Future
Knowing about your partners past and future is very important… With their future being the most important.
In a committed relationship, your partner’s future goals and aspirations directly affect the outcome of your future goals and aspirations.
To sum it up, knowing your partners past and future is a huge key to long term relationship success and happiness.
1. When you were younger, what were you teased about? How do you feel about it? Did you tease others?
2. Did you give your parents a lot of grief? Or were you a good teenager?
3. When you were a child were you always getting in trouble for a particular thing?
4. Have you ever ran away from home? If so, why?
5. For your marriage what goals do you have?
6. Before you die, is there anything you feel you must accomplish? To achieve these goals, what steps do you need to take?
7. For this year what are three goals you have?
8. Does our relationship help and/or hinder the achievement of your goals? In what ways?
9. Have you ever hung out with the wrong crowd in school? Did your parents know about it?
10. Up through college what school sports and activities did you participate in?
We all have pasts that have contributed to who we are today.
Life is simply a journey and where you are right now is simply your current spot on your path.
We all are heading towards something determined by the choices we make every day.
When a couple wants to commit for the long term they are choosing to follow the same path.
Unfortunately, this can result in many difficulties.
Each person may assume their partner is following the same path they are on while in fact, they could be putting enormous obstacles in each other’s way.
The previous questions for couples should have helped you reveal if your paths align.
If they do, that’s great… You have just stepped over one of the biggest hurdles there is for romantic compatibility.
However, if your paths don’t align it’s time to do some serious thinking about how you move your paths closer together to limit the turbulence you might experience in the future.
9) Friends and Family
Our friends and family often play a huge role in our lives… Sometimes whether we like it or not.
As the saying goes “You don’t just marry the person… You marry the family too.”
That’s why knowing the type of relationship your partner has with his our her friends and family is an essential step in getting to know and understand your partner.
These 20 questions will give you some helpful insight.
1. The way your parents raised you, how do you feel about it? Did they do a good job? And how did they mess up?
2. When friends feel comfortable to drop by unexpectedly, do you like it?
3. Do you have a least favorite relative? Do you try to avoid him/her?
4. If you have a favorite partner’s? What makes him/her so special?
5. Is your family important to you? Why or why not?
6. If you have a chance do you think you could live more than six hours away from your parents and/or siblings?
7. What do you do on a typical day or night out with your friends?
8. Do you think your parents could select a better mate for you than you can select? In what ways?
9. If your family hated the person you were dating and stated strong opinions against you marrying him or her, would you marry them anyway?
10. Is there anything that my family does that annoys you?
11. Would you want your children to continue the family traditions you grew up with? What are those traditions?
12. A good parent and a great parent, what makes the difference?
13. Which family member are you closest to? Has it always been that way?
14. How will you take care of your mom and dad when they are older and need assistance? Have you given any thought to it?
15. A good husband and a great husband, a good wife, and a great wife? What makes the difference?
16. When you were a kid what did you most enjoy doing with your family?
17. Do you often see your family? Do you feel you see them too much or not enough?
18. Do you feel that one of your partners loves you more than the other?
19. Are there some things your friends possess that make you envious?
20. Is there anything valuable that your friends have taught you?
Just about all of us have friends and family.
Not surprisingly, those same friends and relatives can be a source of many of our greatest troubles.
This chapter was designed to help you explore how your different friend’s groups and families will mesh. And how you can have a satisfying relationship with each other, while maintaining a healthy relationship with your friends and family.
10) Money and Finance.
There’s no denying it. Money is a big deal in almost every romantic relationship.
That’s why before you decide to commit to a relationship you should know your partner’s values on expenses, savings, budgeting, and spending.
These questions will definitely help determine you and your partner’s financial compatibility.
1. Have you ever saved for a purchase or major expense? Or have you always put it on credit?
2. How often do you check or balance your checkbook?
3. When finances are tight, do you get stressed out?
4. What do you think is the minimum amount you could spend on a wedding and be happy with it?
5. Do you think without a credit card you could function? Have you ever tried?
6. On your credit cards, what items do you charge to them?
7. For retirement, what kind of plans have you made?
8. Should we keep our money in joint or individual accounts? Why?
9. Is it wise to lend significant amounts of money to boyfriends/girlfriends? Could it make the relationship better?
10. Are you thrifty with your money, or do you tend to buy luxury items?
11. How many credit cards do you have in your wallet? Do you need that many? How often do you use them?
12. To help pay for your non-essential purchases, have you ever worked a second job?
13. During financial difficulties, what would you do to get out of it?
14. Have you ever thought that your partner mismanages his or her money? How?
15. If you married someone with a lot of debt and bills, how would you feel about helping them pay them off?
16. Bankruptcy, have you ever filed for it?
17. How would you like your lifestyle to change, if you and your partner’s income suddenly doubled?
18. Have you ever made a loan of a large sum of money to help someone? Would you do it again?
19. At what point would you consider yourself rich?
20. Do you ever think you are obsessed with money? Is making or spending money one of the most important things in your life?
Money can be a hot button issue in any relationship.
Many couples fail to recognize this early on in their relationship.
However, as my grandmother would say it, “as much as you love each other love don’t pay no bills!” ????
The questions in this chapter were designed to help you as a couple gain the information it requires to avoid arguments about how you both approach personal finance.
Having this knowledge enables you to make a plan, to make compromises, and to strengthen your financial planning as a couple.
11) Sex and Intimacy
Everyone knows how important sex is in most relationships.
Having a good and healthy sex life can make or break otherwise good relationships.
But what is a good sex life?
Such a question is often left to interpretation.
However, the definition of “good” really boils down to an individual’s personal preferences.
In this section, we will dig deeper into you and your partner’s feelings on sex and intimacy.
1. Sex and romance, what is the difference?
2. If the man has trouble with premature ejaculation, what would you do?
3. Having sex during a woman’s menstrual period, what do you feel about it?
4. Every time we make love, how should we choose what position to use? (Should we take turns choosing? Try out a new one each week? Or rotate through our favorites?)
5. During sex, do you like to talk dirty? Do you like it when your spouse talks dirty to you? Are there “dirty” terms that you find offensive?
6. If a woman often cannot reach climax, do you think it would affect the relationship? If it was a problem, exactly how would you try to solve it?
7. If it has been a long and tiring day, do you think it is essential that a couple have sex the first night they are married?
8. During sex, do you think you should mainly focus on pleasing yourself or pleasing your partner? Why?
9. What should I do that will give you the most sexual pleasure?
10. Is there any favorite foreplay activity that turns you on?
11. After sex, do you like to cuddle?
12. Having sex outdoors, would you do it if your partner wanted to?
13. Are there any songs that turn you on and make you think of making love?
14. Have you ever experienced being photographed or videotaped naked?
15. Having sex during pregnancy, do you have any concerns about it?
16. Is there a method of birth control that you prefer? Why?
17. Which part of the body turns you on the most?
18. To some people penis and breast size matter when it comes to really good sex. What are your thoughts and/or experiences about this?
19. On different sex positions which one is your favorite? Why is it your favorite?
20. Are there any scents/perfumes that turn you on?
Most couples experience sex issues in some form at some point in their relationship.
Since a couple is made up of two individuals there are going to be two sets of turn-ons and turn-offs.
The questions you just answered were designed to help couples break the silence and talk about these differences.
While sex is mostly about pleasure, intimacy, and bonding, it is also very much about mutual respect and communication.
Thinking about the ideas brought up by the questions in this chapter can help boost your sex life to new levels of passion and intimacy.
12) Children and Child Raising
Knowing your partner’s feelings on having children and how they should be raised and nurtured is a must if you ever plan on starting a family.
So much comes into play in the process of raising children, and many couples don’t realize how vastly different their parenting styles are until a child has been ushered into the relationship.
Big mistake… Fortunately, it’s a mistake you won’t make.
These questions for couples will help you understand where your partner stands on the very very important matter of children and child raising.
1. Have you read any literature about the pros/cons of circumcision? If you had a son, would you want him to be circumcised? Why?
2. About naming your children, do you have any strong preferences?
3. Would you be willing to go to a parenting class? Do you think you could learn some important things from it?
4. If there’s a chance would you want your children to be home schooled? Why or why not?
5. Does constantly buying your children new toys make them become spoiled and teach them to become easily bored with things?
6. Regarding, magazines, Internet, television, music, etc. What kind of restrictions do you think you would want to place on your children?
7. Before a couple tries to have kids, how strong do you think a couple’s marriage should be and how financially stable should they be?
8. If your children started asking questions about sex, at what age would you tell your children about it? What would you tell them if they weren’t asking questions? Or do you prefer they learn about sex somewhere else?
9. Drinking alcohol in front of children, what do you think of it?
10. Would you expect your children to do household chores? Beginning at what age?
11. In a family how should decisions be made? Do you do things democratically? Or does the husband have the final say?
12. Should parents love and care more for their children than their partners? Is it natural for parents to want to love their offspring more than the person they married?
13. Before you add children to the mix, what is the minimum number of years you think you would need to build a solid relationship/marriage?
14. If at all possible, do you believe it is important that the father should be present at the birth of his child?
15. Do you want a particular gender? If you had only boys or only girls, how would you feel?
16. Whose last name should be given to the child, If you and your partner have different last names?
17. Would you take care of your child yourself if the child was born with a birth defect? Or would you let the child live in a professional home for children with such disabilities?
18. How many children would you like to have?
19. How much time each day do you feel a parent should spend with their children?
20. Parents should sacrifice for their children in what areas? And which areas should they not?
21. Do you have kids? If so how would you rate your relationship with them?
22. How would you rate your relationship with the mother or father of these children?
Once you decide you are going to have children, there are a lot of things to consider.
The questions in this chapter should be addressed before beginning a life together even if it seems like children are years down the road.
In fact, that is one of the considerations this chapter brought to light.
A couple needs to talk about how they each feel about when is the right time for a couple to have children.
Should a couple put off children until they have experienced years together as a couple?
Should they wait until they are 100% financially stable.
Or do children join in the journey?
It is also important to discuss how both partners were raised.
Perhaps each is determined to raise their children in a similar manner to their own childhood. If the two people in the relationship have vastly different upbringings, problems could arise.
This chapter also brings up the situation where one or both partners already have children. The relationship with the existing children is important and is something the marriage and future children have to encompass.
I hope you took your time discussing the questions in this chapter.
Undoubtedly, having children and deciding how they should be raised is one area where it is nearly impossible for couples to agree to disagree.
Compatibility Test: 255 Questions for Couples – Conclusion
Thanks for reading our compatibility test.
These questions were designed to improve relationships and help couples navigate some of the pitfalls that can spring up from a lack of compatibility.
The truth of the matter is that millions of people waste their time fighting for relationships that were doomed from the start.
Don’t let that happen to you and your relationship.
It’s tough to get back on the right track after building your life around a failed relationship.
For more advice check out the rest of our site and if you can, share this on Facebook by clicking the button below so that someone who needs this compatibility test can find it.
Thanks in advance.