All relationships have their ups and downs. That’s normal. Except of course, sometimes it’s not normal.
Sometimes the downs are far too many and too heavy. The relationship becomes a financial, physical or psychological burden that drags you down.
Toxic relationships, we’ve all experienced them.
What you need to know is how to quickly identify and remove yourself from these types of detrimental relationships. The problem with that is that most toxic relationships don’t present themselves as such until they’ve drained an enormous amount of time, energy, and joy from your life.
Whether romantic or otherwise, if a relationship is a toxic one, you should remove yourself from it immediately if you want to experience true happiness.
To help you do that I’ve compiled the top 7 types of toxic relationships that go unidentified for far too long.
Do you notice any of these in your life?
1. The controlling friend, family member, or lover.
We’ve all seen this before. Some people, whether it’s a friend, family member, or lover think that they’re the expert on your own life.
They always seem to know exactly what you’re doing wrong and how you should fix it. You should eat more of this, quit that job, watch that movie, breakup with that boyfriend, and oh yea, you better answer every text in two minutes or less, or it’s a problem.
A controlling relationship can be a hard one to spot at the beginning.
Initially, it may seem like the person is just very caring and wants the best for you. When that turns into trying to control your time, thoughts or other choices, it’s time to cut them off or for them to change their behavior for good.
2. The financially draining friend.
Do you have a friend who always assumes that you’re good to pay for dinner? Are they chronically short a few bucks and always asking to borrow money?
Of course, you don’t mind helping a friend that’s in need, but when it seems like this friend needs your financial help every other week, it can become burdensome.
That’s when the relationship has crossed over to being toxic.
This is particularly the case if the friend is asking for big-ticket items. It’s also especially true if the check writing is combined with romance.
If your significant other is always asking for money or suddenly wants to move in with you because they can’t pay their rent, be wary.
Don’t confuse love and money. They aren’t the same thing, especially if you’re the one who’s always paying.
Ultimately, this person is likely using you to get their financial needs met.
Of course, you don’t want to jump to conclusions. Luckily there is one way that you can test the relationship.
Cut off the finances.
If this person still wants to be your friend or lover, then it’s not a toxic relationship. You just need to learn to say no sometimes.
However, if all hell breaks loose and arguments arise about you not loaning them money, or it begins to feel like you have to pay a fee to get some face time with this person, it’s definitely time to cut them loose.
The relationship is toxic.
3. The dishonest dynamic.
Too often, our friends, family members, and significant others tell us what we want to hear. While in some circumstances they might have good intentions, it also might be a way to get to your money, manipulate your heart, or hide their dirty deeds.
When that’s the case, the relationship is undoubtedly toxic.
Of course, a good friend or mate should be encouraging. They should help you look for the bright side of any situation and help you think of ways that it can all work out. They should always offer a shoulder to cry on.
But there’s a big difference between that and dishonesty that hurts in a toxic way.
A friend or significant other shouldn’t lie to you to get their way or to hide their wrongdoings.
Of course, there are clever things that you can do to catch them in a lie. But why should you have to do that?
Honesty is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If you don’t have that, then there’s no need to carry on.
If you’re in a relationship like this, click away from this article, break up with this person right now, unfriend, block, and then return to reading the rest of this article.
The relationship is extremely toxic.
Get out now.
4. The “I don’t understand the meaning of no” relationship.
No means no. That’s true in friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships of any kind.
A healthy relationship dynamic has set boundaries, and both sides accept and respect those boundaries.
Does the other half of your relationship brush you off when you say no? Do they keep you out too late when you tell them that you have to work in the morning? Do they take your stuff without permission or after you’ve explicitly told them that they couldn’t borrow it?
This is definitely a toxic relationship that’s going to eventually explode into a huge argument once you’ve had enough of them crossing the line.
5. The relationship that doesn’t acknowledge your feelings.
A relationship is a two-way street. A good, positive relationship is one where the other person listens to how you feel without judging and can sympathize with you.
If the other half of your relationship isn’t able to acknowledge how you feel, that’s not a good sign.
Take an example where you’re not happy with your job.
The other person should be able to tell you that they are sorry to hear that happened, and maybe even brainstorm together with you for ways to resolve the situation.
If the other person just tries to tell you that you shouldn’t be upset, that your boss really isn’t that bad or that it’s your fault or problem, you should remove this toxic relationship from your life.
I understand tough love, but no one should kick you while you’re down. Real friends and romantic partners are there for you in your time of need.
6. The gossip behind your back and tell all your damn business friend.
We’ve all had at least one fake friend in our lives that fit this category. So, there’s not much I need to say about this one.
If it gets back to you that your so-called friend is putting your business in the streets or is starting rumors about you, drop they ass like a bad habit.
No good can come from having an untrustworthy gossiping ass friend on your hands.
One way to quickly identify these type of people is to gauge how the person speaks with you about their other friends, family members, and associates.
If they gossip to you about others, chances are, they gossip about you too when you’re not around.
7. The misery loves company relationship.
In the back of your mind do you feel like your friend or significant other is bringing you down or causing you to lower your standards?
Do you drink more than you want to or engage in other questionable behaviors when you’re together?
So, eventually a friend or lovers bad habits start to rub off on us.
They can cause you to eat in unhealthy ways, spend money you don’t want to, hang out at places you don’t feel safe at, or even do physically risky things.
If your friend causes you to lower your standards, it’s a relationship that it’s time to get out of.
Don’t waste your time trying to change this person. What typically happens is instead of you changing them… They change you…
Removing yourself from toxic relationships can put you on the path to a better you. However, don’t expect the other half of the toxic relationship to go down without a fight.
They are getting something from you, and they won’t want to lose it.
It might take some time to let go and move on completely, but it’s a must that you do it.
Once you rid yourself of this one-sided unhealthy relationship, you’ll likely find yourself wondering why you didn’t get out of it a long time ago.