We’ve all seen the horror stories. Receiving nude photos after a few minutes of texting, getting propositioned in a naughty dating site, or feeling an obligation to get extreme just to catch attention.
Especially with online dating, the art of body language, nuanced remarks, and some good ol’ eye-batting is lost, so that means you’re left with only the more obvious methods of making your interest known, right?
If you want to be flirty and still be classy, you can; you just need to know the right steps. By taking advantage of these, you can show your more charming side and make a more successful impression, without the offensive or uncomfortable extremes.
Give Perceptive Compliments – That’s Right, Real Ones
When the only kind remarks you receive are about your body and with a certain degree of suggestiveness, the intrigue runs as shallow as the comment. That doesn’t mean compliments on appearance are off limits; it means they need to be more sincere. Say something nice about their eyes, about their shoulders, about their hair; the lesser-appreciated aspects that proves you truly took the time to look at them, rather than sparing a passing glance.
Give Compliments That Matter
When you’re in a singles chat, you might not get a chance to see someone’s picture. Which is a good thing. This gives you a chance to compliment them as a person, which will catch far more attention than a quick “you’re handsome.” Get into topics about their life and beliefs, and then compliment their intelligence, their opinion, the way they phrase their sentences or a certain way they described something. These meaningful compliments project you as more thoughtful and make them feel more valued. There are singles a dime a dozen to say they’re attractive – how many have told them they’re clever? This will catch and hold their attention, and make them respect you.
Keep Sex Out of the Mix – to Begin With
Even if you’re looking for a hookup, the best flirtations don’t touch the topic of sex in the beginning. If they do, it takes away the intrigue, mystery, and the thrill, instead of cutting right to the chase which leaves you both a little bored and a little disappointed. There’s a reason “playing hard to get” is the tried and true tactic of flirting; dancing around a topic is more fun, and if neither of you are looking for sex right away, it gets in the way of real conversation. Instead, focus your topics on movies, hobbies, books, or other things that interest you, so that it’s a tease rather than a contract.
Tell Stories – and Keep Them Funny or Lighthearted
When you’re flirting in singles chat, the guy can’t see your cute little black dress, your expert-level makeup, or the way you hold yourself in a room. The image he builds of you is based on what you say about yourself, and most importantly, how you say it. While this might seem twice as hard, it’s actually an advantage.
His ability to decide if you’re a cutey or if he’d like to take you out to dinner entirely depends on your personality, so be sure to give it your best flare. Tell stories about yourself, your day, your job, or a fun memory so that he can learn more about you, and be sure it stays funny or lighthearted. If you make him smile or laugh, he’ll instantly be drawn to you, and as they say – beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If he thinks you’re lovely before he ever meets you, you’ve managed to catch his eye in a long-term fashion.
Go Ahead and Brag – Yes, You Have Permission
You may have been taught, like most women, that bragging is seen as unattractive. But here’s a newsflash; a guy who’s a real catch will want to know about you, and will be impressed by your accomplishments. Sure, maybe your family is tired of hearing about your successes at every single holiday dinner, but this person has never met you before, and therefore the picture you paint for them is one they’re excited to learn about. Talk about your achievements in work, in your hobbies, in your downtime, and great things you’ve done with your friends. Don’t hog the conversation, but demand an even footing. It will make you appear more real and inspire respect.
Flirting with class is more rewarding, especially online, for two main reasons. One, it creates an atmosphere of respect, and two, it makes your partner more intrigued. With only text to get your charm across, the better phrased and more thoughtful your flirtation, the more successful it will be.