Are we compatible?
That’s a question we all eventually ask ourselves when dating someone new, especially when the relationship hits a rough spot.
Although there are different levels of compatibility and no matter how compatible you are two people will still have differences that set them apart and defines their individuality.
That’s to be expected, but there are some traits that if your compatibility doesn’t match the relationship is likely doomed from the start.
According to Grant Langston, the CEO of matchmaking site eHarmony after analyzing his site’s massive user database he identified 3 key traits that are nearly impossible to compromise on in any relationship.
After our staff at BlackLoveAdvice.com looked over his research, we came to the conclusion that we definitely agree with Grant’s analysis.
If you aren’t compatible on these 3 things, your relationship is likely not going to work in the long run.
1. Conflict resolution skills.
This is a big one. If you and your partner don’t deal with conflict in a similar manner, it’s likely going to cause major problems throughout your relationship.
As Langston puts it:
Conflict resolution skills are baked into your brain when you’re a kid. If you’re really opposite in that, you can’t have a relationship
We agree 100%. Conflict resolution is a primary key to relationship success. If you and your partner lack or have different ideologies on how conflicts should be resolved major problems will undoubtedly arise.
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How social are you? If your partner is an introvert that likes to stay home and watch movies, but you’re an extrovert that enjoys going out and being around people the relationship will definitely be challenging.
In the long run, this typically leads to breakups as neither partner is satisfied with how the other wants to spend their free time and quality time together, which leads to a never-ending cycle of arguments and disagreements.
3. Your level of optimism and pessimism.
The last trait Langston says it would be hard to compromise on is how negatively disposed you are.
You can be with another pessimistic person because you both pick at the world. If you’re both positive, if you’re low in pessimism, that’d be fine, too, because you’re both positive outlook people.
But if you’re not the same, the person whose grumbling all the time is going to seem like a sad sack and a rotten partner to carry through life.
This is another major factor when we are talking about relationship satisfaction and success. A pessimist and an optimisit won’t mix well. No matter how hard they try, it likely won’t work due to their natural tendencies.
If you aren’t compatible on these 3 traits having a successful relationship is nearly impossible. Our suggestion? Don’t get to deeply involved in a relationship until you are 100% sure you and your partner are truly compatible.