A philosopher once said “there is always some madness in love. But there is also some reason in madness.” That philosopher was certainly right on both counts.
Anyone who has been in love knows that it can cause us to act in ways that are completely out of character. Our mind’s wander, we become fixated, and our hearts ache for the object of our desire.
Fortunately, we’re not going crazy no matter how unlike ourselves we might feel in that moment. In fact, there is some very definitive science behind all of this “madness.”
When you ask yourself “Am I in love?” You have to realize that love is a unique state of mind.
Seriously, our brain chemistry literally alters when we fall in love. And those changes are reflected in some very specific behaviors.
So, if you’re currently asking yourself, am I in love? Then look no further.
Here are 9 subconscious behaviors that indicate that you very likely are…
1. You are on an emotional rollercoaster.
One moment you feel on top of the world. The next you are experiencing the depths of despair. The moment after that anger… Then back to being in love again 😂😂😂
Your emotions are literally bouncing up and down and left to right like the front row seats of a roller coaster.
This shifting of emotions from elation to sadness to anger to elation is one of the weirdest signs that you are in love.
But it’s definitely true.
Researchers who have looked at the brains of people that are in love have come to the conclusion that what their brains are experiencing isn’t much different than that of a drug addict.
When you spend time with the person, you love you get an emotional “hit.” When you spend time away from them or feel that you are being ignored, you go through withdrawals.
Simple as that.
2. You think about them… A Lot…
According to a study conducted by researchers at Rutgers University, people who are in love report that they think about the object of their affection an incredible 85% of the time that they are awake!
This may sound downright obsessive, but it’s actually a perfectly natural reaction to the early stages of falling in love.
Researchers have noted when people are in love there is a reduced amount of central serotonin found in their brain. This same condition is found in people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder.
So if you can’t get someone out of your head, then chances are you are probably in love… Or falling in love.
3. You frequently imagine your future together.
Romantic love is one of humanities first evolutionary drives. In fact, forming “pair-bonds” helped us survive as a species.
According to Lucy Brown, of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, the need to find and keep a mate is not dissimilar to our drive for water, food, and shelter.
4. Your heart beats as one.
This may sound like a line from an early 90’s RnB song, but it’s actually scientifically proven.
When we are in love, our hearts really do beat as one.
In a recent study at UC Davis, a group of couples were asked to look into their partner’s eyes. As they were doing so there, heartbeats were measured.
The study showed that the couples heart beats appeared to synchronize when gazing at each other.
The most interesting development to come from this study though was that when the same test was conducted using people that weren’t in love their heart beats didn’t synchronize.
5. Your pain threshold is higher.
When we are in love, we feel like we can walk on water and through a wall of flames.
While the first of these might not be possible, the second might actually be easier when we are in love.
The study asked people who were in love to look at a picture of the person they were in love with. A heated probe was then placed on their hand.
When looking at the person that they love the participants experienced a forty percent reduction in moderate pain.
When it came to severe pain, they felt a fifteen percent reduction.
6. You feed them and make sure they ate.
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…. This is a theory that more than one woman has put to the test.
When people are in love, they are more likely to want to feed the other person. This may seem strange but makes sense when put it in a primitive survival perspective.
For our ancestor’s food was often scarce. They wanted to make sure that the person they loved survived. So when given the opportunity they would make sure they were well fed.
If you notice that you are offering up second helpings to that special someone, or making sure they ate throughout the day, then you’re probably in love.
7. You re-read texts and emails.
If you’re re-reading text and emails do you even need to ask yourself am I in love?
Yea… You likely are…
Every sentence, word, and phrase so carefully examined. The things that bring a smile to your face on first reading don’t seem to lose their luster the second or even third time that you read them.
The reason for this is that you are experiencing a small dopamine rush every time you read that cute email or text.
8. The ordinary becomes extraordinary.
Before you were in love, you never realized how exciting it is to basically do… Nothing! 😂
When you are in love the most ordinary activities seem to be extraordinary. A simple walk in the park becomes magical. Laying in bed all day with the one you love becomes heavenly.
Days that would otherwise have felt wasted, feel like the only way you would ever want to spend them… Together with that special someone.
9. You feel alive like never before.
If you find yourself suddenly smiling at strangers, and you have a little extra bounce in your step, then you are probably in love.
According to a Rutgers University study, couples in love have very high levels of dopamine in their brains.
This, in turn, triggers rushes of pleasure.
It is, in fact, the same thing someone on a powerful drug would feel. So if you find that you have an added boost of energy and feel alive like never before, then it’s very likely you are in love.
If you are experiencing these subconscious signs, then enjoy it while it lasts. Studies suggest that this stage of being “in love” is usually temporary.
People who stay together move onto a more moderated stage of deep attachment. And although, it’s not as intense, it’s often just as pleasurable.
That’s where a bond that can last a lifetime is built.