9 Signs Your Relationship Is Over (But You Just Don't Realize It Yet...)

9 Signs Your Relationship Is Over (But You Just Don’t Realize It Yet…)

Posted by in Black Love Advice

While most of us have been in a relationship that lasted longer than it should have, many are still trying to figure out if it’s time for them to call it quits or not.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone hates breakups. But staying in a dysfunctional and unfulfilling relationship is even worse than a breakup because it is emotionally draining and steals joy and time from your life.

No one should put themselves through heartaches and headaches for a relationship that isn’t going to work out in the long run anyway.

So, do you think your current relationship fits this scenario? Is it really over but you haven’t come to terms with or realized it yet?

Check out these often not so obvious signs that your relationship is over… That you might be overlooking.

1. Conversations feel forced.

There is perhaps nothing more important to maintaining a healthy relationship than open and honest communication. After all, trust and communication form the building blocks of a healthy relationship.

If you are no longer talking about things like how your day went, or you feel like communication has become more of an obligation than something that happens naturally, then your relationship is at the very least in danger of falling apart.

Failing to communicate leaves a void in relationships that eventually spirals into complicated issues.

These problems, in turn, often create a sense of neglect that grows until it finally breaks the relationship.

If you simply don’t care to discuss life or the decisions you make with your partner, then it’s time to pull the plug.

2. You feel lonely even when you are together.

9 Signs Your Relationship Is Over (But You Just Don't Realize It Yet...)

Loneliness can be crippling, even more so when you’re in a relationship but still feel like you’re alone.

Of all the signs your relationship is over this is the most obvious. However, we often overlook it and continue to fight for a relationship that is basically non-existent.

Sadly, some people stay in relationships like this for years.

Don’t make that mistake.

If you notice that you feel lonely in your relationship, it’s time to come to terms with reality. It’s over…and has likely been over for quite a bit of time now…

3. The sexual spark is gone…and you can’t seem to get it back…

Even though it’s natural for the intense sexual chemistry of the honeymoon phase to gradually die down as your relationship matures. Not feeling any affection or physical attraction for your partner is a huge red flag.

Physical intimacy plays a key role in most relationships, and without it, most couples are heading towards a breakup.

If you repeatedly avoid sex or other forms of physical intimacy with your partner, it’s a sign that it’s time to move on.

And I’m not talking about avoiding intimacy every now and then because you’re tired or just aren’t in the mood. I’m talking about sex, cuddling, or hand holding feels like a chore that you don’t want to do…EVER.

Look, don’t feel bad, it happens.

Attraction fades, taste change, incompatibility arises. If you’ve tried to find the spark and nothing has seemed to work it’s time to move on if it’s a taking a toll on your happiness.

4. You feel annoyed by your partner’s presence.

We all have pet peeves and things that irritate us about our partner’s. That’s normal, understandable, and doesn’t call for the end of a relationship.

What I’m talking about here is something more. I’m talking about a level of disdain that borderlines on complete disgust.

If every little thing your partner says or does annoys you, then it’s time to rethink the future of your relationship.

This is a major sign of incompatibility that is most likely irreconcilable.

5. You are bored with your partner and the moments you share together.

The beginning of most relationships is marked with romantic gestures that ignite the flames of excitement. Next thing you know you’re caught up in the honeymoon phase and can’t seem to get enough of each other…

But they say all good things must come to an end. That saying definitely holds true for the honeymoon period of relationships.

Once the honeymoon phase has passed, it can become a bit tough to keep things interesting inside and outside of the bedroom.

That’s natural.

But what’s not natural is not wanting to spend any time with your partner at all. Or when you do spend time together you’re either bored, frustrated or arguing.

If you find yourself preferring to watch TV rather than going out on dates or spending quality time with your significant other, then it’s time to rethink your approach to the relationship and how much you really want to be in this relationship.

Are you as interested in him as you initially thought you were? If the answer to that question is anything but a firm “Yes” then your relationship is probably over, and you just haven’t realized it yet.

6. You pick fights with each other.

Frequent arguments over petty stuff usually marks the beginning of the end for troubled relationships. Especially when you or your partner seem to be starting petty fights intentionally. (Don’t act like we haven’t all been in at least one petty ass relationship like this before. 😂😂😂)

The cause can be any of a number of reasons. The top two are:

  1. You can’t stand they ass anymore.
  2. You’re picking fights on purpose to pass off the dirty work of initiating the breakup to the other person.

If this sounds like your relationship don’t fool yourself. It’s over, and you’re just prolonging the inevitable.

7. Talks about the future scare you to death.

9 Signs Your Relationship Is Over (But You Just Don't Realize It Yet...)

Does the thought of spending your future with your current boyfriend fill you with a subtle sense of dread?

If the answer is yes, then your relationship is over.

If there is one thing love shouldn’t be, it shouldn’t ever be a chore.

True love requires only a reasonable amount effort to thrive, and plans of the future come naturally. There is no way you can force yourself to want to spend the rest of your life with someone, don’t even try to do it.

8. You fantasize about being in a relationship with someone else.

This might be a controversial statement to some people: Being attracted to other people and developing infatuations is normal and it occurs whether you’re in a relationship or not.

You’re free to disagree with me on this. But there is no magic switch in your brain that you can turn off to stop this from happening whether you’re in a happy relationship or not.

With that being said, if you constantly imagine yourself dating or in relationships with other people, or even worse, you act out these thoughts by excessively flirting with other people or even cheating… Your relationship is over.

Which leads me to my last point…

9. Your partner is cheating.

Infidelity is almost always considered to be a dealbreaker and has caused a countless number of relationships to end.

Sometimes couples can recover from this, but most often they find it to be too big of a hurdle to overcome.

Plain and simple, outside of domestic violence nothing is more damaging to a relationship than infidelity.

It violates trust, respect, and a lot of other things.

If your partner is cheating, your relationship is over unless you are both extremely committed to saving the relationship.


While I never advise people to consider breaking up at the very first sign of hardship, sometimes we ignore the signs that our relationships are over even when those signs are right there in our faces.

At that point, we’re just prolonging the inevitable.

Staying in a failing relationship hurts you in the long run. It can also block your blessings and block you from finding the person you were meant to be with. So do yourself a favor, if it’s over don’t deny it.

It’s better to cut your losses and move on than fight for a relationship that will never work.

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