7 Differences Between Love and Obsession That You Should Watch For…

7 Differences Between Love and Obsession That You Should Watch For…

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Is it love or is it obsession?

Undoubtedly, at the beginning of relationships, they both tend to show the same characteristics until things take a turn for the worse.

Most women that run into this issue do so because they mistake their partner’s intense devotion for real love when in reality it’s the early warning signs of problems that are yet to come.

Love and obsession… Unfortunately, it’s easy to mix the two up when everything is seemingly going right in a relationship.

So, how can you tell if your partner truly loves you or is obsessed with the idea of loving you?

Simple, just look for these seven signs.

1. The amount of effort it takes to keep the relationship together seems extreme.

It’s very true that all relationships hit rough patches and every couple experiences hard times.

But if it seems like every other week you’re having blowout arguments and breaking up, then he pursues you with extreme passion like he can’t live without you… This is not a sign of love, this is a sign he’s obsessed with you and can’t let the relationship go no matter how bad things are getting.

In fact, you don’t even feel like you can breakup with him…because he won’t let you go…

A relationship that’s based on one partner’s obsession has a way of making the other partner feel insecure and restrained.

If you feel this way, it’s definitely not love.

2. He’s expressing intense emotions early in the relationship.

If you meet a man and one month in the relationship he’s telling you how “he can’t live without you,” or that “he loves you,” you’re likely dealing with one of two things:

  • A man that’s trying to say all the right things so that he can get whatever he wants from you. Whether it’s sex, money, or a place to stay.
  • Or you’re dealing with a person that is obsessed with the idea of being in love, which can quickly transform to them being obsessed with YOU.

Either way, it’s not an ideal relationship to be in.

3. He stands in the way of you spending time with friends and family.

This is perhaps one of the most classic signs of obsession.

If your partner always craves for your attention and insists that he is your only priority and that you basically cut off your friends and family to be with him, this is a problem.

This is one of the most obvious differences between love and obsession.

Real love feels non-restraining, you feel liberated to make new friends, and spend time with current friends and family.

An obsessed partner, on the other hand, wants to fill every void in your life.

They want to be your best friend, your mother, your brother, your sister and everything in between.

Never let a man isolate you from the people that loved and cared about you before he came along.

That’s usually how abuse begins.

4. He doesn’t seem to have ANY friends, family, or close relationships.

7 Differences Between Love and Obsession That You Should Look out For...

This is a big red flag. If it appears that his only close personal connection is you… You should find out why.

I know it’s a cute saying, but being the center of someone’s universe isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

Combined with a few of the other signs on this list it can quickly equal a dangerous obsession that will be hard to escape from once his feelings for you intensify and you become the sole focus of his life.

Be careful with this one.

5. He has an inability to focus on anything other than the relationship.

Another one of the clear differences between love and obsession is when a person seems to have an inability to focus on anything outside of the relationship.

His work performance is hurting, he abandons his friends, doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything if it isn’t with you.

True, in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship this type of behavior is natural.

However, after a month or two, his behavior should normalize.

If not, you might begin to notice little changes in his behavior, like he starts getting agitated if you don’t answer his calls or text immediately.

6. He threatens to harm himself when you breakup with him.

This is manipulation to the core.

If your partner threatens to hurt himself because you broke up with or won’t talk to him don’t you dare allow yourself to be manipulated this way.

Under no circumstance do you go back to him.

There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship where your personal safety is in danger, and that’s exactly what this relationship will soon become.

Delete his number. Delete him from social media. And protect yourself if he randomly approaches you in an aggressive manner.

7. He tries to spy on your whereabouts.

A jealous and insecure person always feels the need to know what their partners are doing and what they are thinking.

As a result, they get agitated when the object of their desire is away from them spending time with others.

The obsessed person tends to develop feelings of paranoia about lies, cheating, who you were with, and a host of other things.

Signs of spying like installing hidden cameras, GPS trackers, listening in on phone calls, checking text messages and emails all quickly follow.

If you notice any of these things in your relationship, it’s time for you to really consider if this is a healthy relationship for you to be in.


The fine line between love and obsession is often blurred.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t spot the differences.

A relationship that doesn’t encourage you to become the best version of yourself is a relationship that isn’t worth having.

If you notice any of the signs mentioned above in your relationship, it’s time for your partner to make changes… Or it’s time for you to move on… Before you lose yourself and your sanity in the midst of their abusive behavior…

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