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6 Things I've Learned in 6 Months of Marriage...

6 Things I’ve Learned in 6 Months of Marriage…

Posted by in Black Love Advice

Marriage is as daunting as it is exciting, but six months after saying I do where do you find yourselves?

You may have learned that life hasn’t changed as much as people had warned, or that it’s been an entirely different experience than what you were expecting.

Hopefully, you will have both learned to compromise, how to love each other despite it all, and that it’s all about we, not me.

For me, six months of marriage has taught me a lot, and I’m happy to be able to share it with you.

Here are 6 things I’ve learned in 6 months of marriage.

1. Discuss your expectations.

If you find yourself wondering what your spouse is expecting from you in the marriage, then sit down and talk about it.

Even if you were dating for years and lived together before you made it official, sit down and talk about the chores, your careers, whether you have a plan for children, and what your friendships will now look like. If you don’t talk about these things, they can easily lead to resentment and left to build up can become disastrous.

Learn tge different ways you can balance each other out and what you both envision married life to look like.

2. Other relationships will change.

There will be a shift in your family dynamics because now that it’s official you are a family of two. Before you took your vows one of you turning up to a family event without the other was probably no big deal, but now?

If your family is close and there’s always gatherings don’t feel bad about limiting your time. You will also feel pressure to balance your time with both sides of the family, so no one feels left out.

That’s pretty simple in my experience, but on the other hand, when it comes to friendships it may be a bigger challenge.

Once you settle into your married life, your previous routines shift, and your priorities change. Once upon a time, it was girl’s night once a week and now… Not so much…

It may be down to you, but it’s more likely your friends stop inviting you because they’re worried about intruding on your new life. That may be well and good immediately after the wedding, but when the dust has settled, you need those friendships for support.

3. All of the annoying habits.

6 Things I've Learned in 6 Months of Marriage...

Me and my husband didn’t live together before we got married, so this one may not apply to everyone…but wow. It is almost like getting to know each other all over again as you realize he clips his toenails at the kitchen table and never puts the lid back on the toothpaste.

This is where compromise comes in handy because it’s all about learning how to share your space with someone else and being less rigid in your expectations and ways.

I guess the orange juice doesn’t need to always sit in the refrigerator door and yes, I suppose we can keep the ketchup in the cabinet if it means that much to you.

4. Communication is everything.

I can’t stress this enough. You might think that you’re an amazing communicator, but I guarantee you… You need to work at it as most of us do.

I’ve spent years trying to temper my reactions when someone offends, disrespects, or annoys me and here I am in a marriage realizing that is the wrong way to handle my emotions.

By not dealing with disagreements immediately it has time to fester, whereas addressing it right away tends to lead to a quick resolution and a realization that it was a simple misunderstanding.

5. Fight fair.

6 Things I've Learned in 6 Months of Marriage...

There are certain things you should never do in an argument, but it’s difficult to remember that when you’re in the midst of battle.

Your first fight as a married couple will probably be about something ridiculous. Mine was because I had taken advantage of some online deals and my husband thought it was unnecessary.

Instead of discussing the matter calmly and rationally we took a deep dive into shouting at each other, followed by not talking at all for hours. Ugh…worst idea ever.

The truth of the matter was that he wasn’t mad at what I’d bought, he was concerned about our finances.

What you’re fighting about isn’t always the cause of the anger, it is usually a symptom of a deeper issue.

Don’t make matters worse by casting up previous mistakes, opening old wounds, or hitting below the belt. You really don’t want to say something that you can’t take back, and you don’t necessarily have to have the last word either.

6. Your sex life can still be amazing.

I know the popular ideal is that married couples have less sex and a less satisfying sex life than singles or unmarried couples.

We haven’t found that to be true…at least not yet…I hope we never do lol.

Most experts agree that even after the honeymoon feeling wears off, you can still have a very satisfying life in the bedroom.

But to do that you have to try new things, be adventurous, and learn new techniques. And oh yea… Me and my husband might be watching our finances, but I can’t help but take advantage of the New Ann Summers promo codes to keep things interesting between the sheets. (I bet he won’t complain about this lol.)

Conclusion

Being married is an experience like no other. 6 months after saying our wedding vows this is more apparent than it has ever been before.

Being married takes work and dedication once the ceremony is in your rearview.

Gladly, I still feel like saying “I do” is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in life.

Keep fighting for love, realize that there will be ups and downs but strong couples eventually make it through them.

Thanks for reading.

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